Thursday, July 16, 2009

Desk Drawer

My desk drawer at work is not the normal working girls desk drawer. Yes, I have the normal file drawer a paper clip and rubber band drawer, but now I have something special. A food drawer. After the Hot Chocolate Incident and battling the Grunk - - which both of those dramatic days happened before I announced I was expecting...did any of you figure out what was going on then?

Anyway, I knew this tapeworm in me having to eat every 2 hours needed a solution. It became a mission. Nothing of this magnitude could happened over night. I felt like the worker ant bringing the Queen ant pieces of things to eat every morning. I became like a squirrel hoarding all the nuts for the winter. Enough analogies, bottom line is I could open a convenience store out of my desk drawer now.

Let me tell you what we have. I need to take inventory anyway.

5 bags of 100 Calorie Popcorn,

4 little serving cups of Applesauce

Orange, Passionfruit & Jasmine Green Tea Bags

2 bottles of Gatorade (the greenish/yellow kind because the rest gives me "indie")

many different sizes of bottled water

Ginger Ale


1 special K Bar

3 Fiber One Chocolate Chip bars

3 Granola Bars

2 Special K2O Protein Water Mix (for bottled water)

Peach Tea Mix (for bottled water)

Crystal Light Green Tea Honey Lemon (for bottled water)


A Coozie for my canned drinks (or as you MS folk call them "Huggies" - - Huggies is what I will put on my baby's behind not my cold frosty beverage)

Cafe Du Monde Cup to magically take me away to New Orleans and eat beignets in the French Quarter, M&F Cup to bring me back to reality and then a red solo cup that makes me feel like I'm at the Grove drinking a Toddy. Why do I have so many cups? Because we don't have any at work....ever. I think they cut them out of the budget or something.

Anyway....can you visualize what my desk drawer looks like? It usually has an abundant supply of Frosted Strawberry Pop Tarts too, but I just ate the last one 5 minutes ago. Note to self, must restock.

Pop Tarts sound so unhealthy, but actually the front of the package has a picture of a big strawberry that says it's made with Real Fruit; not only that it's "a good source of 7 vitamins and minerals", so who needs prenatal vitamins? In the ingredients it contains both wheat and soy ingredients. With all that healthy stuff they must be good for you, right? (wink, wink)

The good news is that I'm not having to eat every two hours anymore. My nausea (knock on wood) is somewhat subsiding. I think the Second Trimester Fairies came and visited while I slept on my magic Boppy pillow and said ok, she has eaten herself out of house and home we can give her a break....sleep tight Fatty McFat Butt.

The bad news is....well there is no bad news besides the fairies calling me Fatty McFat Butt.
Truth hurts.


sm2 said...

you are so funny! my drawer was always stocked with easy mac, chef boy r dee mini cups and kashi bars. Fridge always contains yogurt and fruit cups. The having to constantly eat does get a little better, but I still have breakfast, 10 am snack, lunch, 4 pm snack, dinner, and dessert pretty much every day. :)

Lisa Blair said...

Rachel, you are hilarious! I love your posts. Keep em coming!

The Sasser Crew said...

so glad i found y'all. you are cracking me up!!!!

Cortni said...

...still laughing....

p.s. I ate my way through the whole pregnancy... pepperoni lovers pizza at least twice a week.....