Thursday, February 22, 2007

So mad my stomach hurts

Have you ever been so mad that you could throw up? Well it's not a fun feeling. I got a call a bit ago from my husband and he informed me that we may have had our old house sold, but the nut job across the street scared the poor buyer away. My understanding is that it was the persons 4th time to look at the house - she was there this last time by herself and the fat re-re lunatic across the street approached her. He creeped her out so bad she went back to the realtor gave them the keys and said - NO THANKS, I can't handle living across the street from a guy like that.
I went over there a bit ago to release the wrath of Rachel on his ass, but fortunately or unfortunately - however you want to look at it, he wasn't home. I fear it would be best if I yelled at him as opposed to when my husband gets home this weekend. Hubby doesn't hold back when it comes to the weirdo across the street, but if it were anyone else he would show a little more respect. So, now that freaky pee in the front yard guy has run off potential buyers I'm on the edge of losing my sanity. Help.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I'm supposed to post 10 things no one knows about me.

Mel-o-Drama posted this game on her blog and I thought it was neat. I too will try to think of 10 things no one knows about me.

1. When I was 5 my brother gave me a wedgie in my favorite pair of pastel heart panties and hung me on the door knob. I was stuck there for a long time until one of his friends helped me down. Ruined my favorites and tore them a little - I have never forgotten.

2. I lived with my dad from 4th grade to 1/2 of 8th grade in SugarLand, TX. It's where they made Imperial Sugar.

3. I had a baby sitter once when I got home from school and I didn't know her, so I locked myself in the garage and told her to leave because she was a stranger and after about 30 minutes she didn't know what to do, so she left. I couldn't get in trouble because I did the right thing by not letting a stranger near me or in my house, but she really was sent there to take care of me. Soon after - I got a nanny.

4. I watched my step-dad die from lung cancer and he had never smoked a day in his life.

5. My favorite holiday growing up was Juneteenth (June 19th.) It's the day that slavery was abolished and I would eat the best bbq you have ever put in your mouth and be the only white person beside my grandma and dad there enjoying the festivities.

6. I had a cat that Santa brought me when I was 6 named Marshmellow Popcorn Cuddles Childers and he was my best friend.

7. I went to a NKOTB concert (for those of you that don't know - New Kids On The Block) when I was 10 and my dad dropped me off at the Astrodome alone with 574,924 million people and I found my way to where my friends were. I was extremely independent at a young age. Afterwards we had a limo and everyone thought we were NKOTB leaving and were banging on our car.

8. I've lived in South America and Spain and have seen more parts of Mexico, Europe, and Central America than I have in the United States.

9. Someone hit my car once and tried to blame me, but once they found out who my brother was they apologized and gave me all their information and wished me a great day. My brother was really mean growing up - hence #1.

10. I was the manager of our dance squad in high school.

Post a comment if you decide to play the game too.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I'm a winner! "Best Valentines Day Ever"

I never read the local paper, but catch it online sometimes. Well tonight I needed my friends email address and knew he had an advertisement online and I could get it there. I log on to the site, and read the headlines

Car Burns:Total Loss
Book Signing
Scholarship Deadline Today

Then for some reason this one headline sticks out to me

Leanne Lawrence Wins: Best Valentines Day Ever

That name doesn't ring a bell, but I click on it anyway wanting to know what the "Best Valentines Day Ever" meant. Well it has a picture of this girl and I do end up knowing who she is (she works at my insurance agents office) and so I read on all about these other winners from little stores around the Square and HELLO, there's my name. I WON a burt's bees make up kit! They misspelled my name, but that's ok with me. The irony is I don't wear make-up, but it's still cool. I'm a winner! I went in the store the other day, my good friend Tasha works there and we were standing there talking and I asked what this registration box was for, she said I don't know some give away. So I just stuck my name in there not even knowing what it was. Ta Da - I win! Too bad I didn't win the registration thing I signed up for at Christmas for $500 free gas - but shoot, I am happy with any winning.
So, it's like 10:00 pm and I call my husband and tell him my name is in the paper and I won something! He was like, oh yeah, I saw that earlier and forgot to tell you. UGH! What a dumb a$$ to forget to tell me! I'm gonna go google what exactly a burt's bees make up kit is. I'm excited!

Monday, February 12, 2007

I survived

This weekend I survived many things.

*Annoying conversations
*Bad drivers
*1 yr. old birthday party
*nothing valuable breaking
*Extended family of In Laws and kids
*Divorced people being in the same room
*not finding any snakes under a boat
*my husband driving and talking with his hands
*finding clothes that fit in my closet
*balancing my checkbook
*falling asleep in my recliner with 8 mischievous adults in the room
*waking up this morning

I really want to do something productive outside this afternoon, but I also want to go to bed at 5:01pm and rest until tomorrow morning. I am beat. I don't think kids are feasible at this juncture in my life, and I can't rewind time to have them when I had more energy, nor do I want to rewind time. I will admit for like 1.25 seconds I thought it would be sweet to have a kid around, then when the toys came smashing into my sofa table and kitchen cabinets and pianos were being opened and banged on - my mind changed...yes, that fast. I am still exhausted and there hasn't been a toddler in sight for over 48 hours. Our house is not child proof with 4037 kitchen cabinets, hard tile floor, stone fireplace, stereo-speaker-TV wires strung about and plantation blinds that touch the floor. Definitely not child proof. Husband did handle it well when a 2 year old went pulling on his speaker covers, yes the speakers that cost more than my car. I am all about disciplining other peoples children though. That may make me the "mean lady" but if you can't get your butt in gear or cause me to have a panic attack because you think the arm of my couch is a horse with a hard tile floor below you. I may take action. So parents or parents to be, I love you and I will love your kids - I may love my own kids one day, maybe - but just don't think I'm the "mean lady" - I just don't have patience, but I am a good person and mean well. Just look at that face - how can you not just want to squeeze it!

Friday, February 09, 2007

Why I'm not a mommy

There are many many many many reasons why I don't have kids at this point in my life. I won't get into all the reasons, but I just discovered a new reason today at lunch. My niece will be having her 1st birthday party at our house tomorrow. I needed to go get her some fun toys for this glorious occasion, so I went to Wal-Mart. There are billions of kids toys, and I was trying to make sure they were age appropriate, I didn't want to get her anything a 5 year old can barely figure out. I was extremely disappointed to see the Power Wheels they had were for ages 3 and up and the trikes seemed stupid to me. So I called my sister in law and she said - get anything Leap Frog, she'll love it. They have a whole section of Wal-Mart dedicated to this Leap Frog then I went and distinguished which age area I needed, punched all the buttons and made the cow moo - and the pig oink - the car vrroom, and then this cute little Alphabet Pal Caterpillar caught my eye. It has different settings where you can play music, it says the letter when you push on a specific leg....but then it has another setting where it pronounces the letter. So I press on A and it says Ahh, then Buh, then Kaa, Duh, Eah, Fuh....I pressed the F again to hear Fuh again. Then I thought it would be funny to press the F and the K, but Leap Frog has out smarted the adults as well. What it does is say "Fuh", then when you press the K it says "Ha ha, that tickles. Kuh" So it won't say it together. So of course I had to try every curse word I could think of. Another one it does it to is Ass. "Ahh, Ha Ha that tickles, SSS" It lets you do Sss hh Ihh tah, but that's like 4 letters at one time. Seemingly it's just the 2 syllable words.
This is reason number 46348759838402 why I'm not ready for kids, because I make good toys try to be bad.
New Tactic
I am going to try out a new mind tactic for losing weight. If I go into my closet and try on everything and then what doesn't fit I have to move to the side....I'm gonna be left naked. Seriously, today I have on these pants that I didn't think I could get buttoned, and I did, but that doesn't mean they fit. They don't give me a camel toe or anything, but they aren't too cute. I seriously have 2 pairs of pants I wear out in public and a few dress pants and the rest are like jogging pants. Ridiculous. Then my shirts. A lot of my shirts seemingly shrunk...oh wait maybe that's just my big gut lifting them up.
So back to my tactic...if I see that I can't wear the majority of my clothes - that is bad. Then on top of that I am poor and can't go out and buy new clothes. So my only option - lose weight. Which is the smartest for more than just my clothes not fitting, it's good for me health wise. I accidentally ran across this workout dvd that I think would be fun zumba. I love the music, but I have a special place in my heart for Latin American dance music, and it would be like dancing - and I like to dance. So, I think I will purchase it and try to fit back into my old clothes. The Zumba girl's website that I posted started in February 2005 and lost 65 lbs by July 2005. Amazing. I really want to get motivated and I'm having to try to trick myself into it, but that's hard to do. So I will try the closet trick and see if it works....I'll let you know - hopefully by Monday I will let you know the closet inventory count. (T-shirts don't count)

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

No news is good news, right?

I don't have much to say, but I know I had to post something before all of my fans went away. I know a couple of things, but I can't tell you any of them because I keep secrets really well. Don't you hate it when people do that? Sorry. So, I don't have any news. Last night I went to my in laws to wish my father in law a happy birthday. Those visits always turn into 4-5 hour ventures. I ended up installing Windows Office 2007 on my sister in laws new laptop and setting her computer up for her, etc. Have any of you guys seen the Word 2007? Wow, it took me a few seconds to find the save button and had a lot of clutter at the top. It will surely take some getting use to, because I'm sure "it's the new black" and we all have to know how to use it. Excel and PowerPoint didn't look much different. Shut, up! Who am I? Man, I am sounding like a computer geek.
And scene.....(we'll pretend I didn't just have that conversation)
Ok so anywho, what else is going on? Oh yeah! Hubby's bday was Monday so I got a cake for him on Sunday at our Super Bowl gathering. See pics of speedo man and him licking speedo man, priceless. I'm a random wife, this I know. But you have to's funny.