Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I made a sell

Thank you Jesus for taking my negotiating skills that I have been using with you here lately and making them work with this one lone appraiser. I will get the knack sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

I also haven't really been on top of my game until about 3 pm today because I was awaiting a call back from the doctors office. I haven't said anything, but now I feel it appropriate since the worst case scenario is out of the picture. I have a knot on my chest and it has progressively gotten larger and started hurting. My doctor suggested I go see a surgeon, which is what I did yesterday. Everything came back negative - which is great! It's so strange what the mind does to you. I knew there has been a knot there for a while - and had it checked out back in 2003, but now that it is the size of a quarter and hurts I put off getting it checked (smart right?). I was afraid of the worst so therefore avoided it. I always thought it was scar tissue from the wreck I had back in college - but when it started hurting and growing - I got concerned. Then once my doctor suggested I see a surgeon specialist I have been physically and emotionally spent. Then as I wait for the doctor to come in - they put me in a room with pamphlets on breast cancer to read with charts and graphs. I became a reality - a morbid reality. The doctor came in and she was concerned so ordered the mammogram and the ultra-sound that day. I literally drove home by myself thinking the worst and wondering what songs should be at my funeral. I'm a sick o - I know. (for those sick o's wondering which song I picked - Garth Brooks, The Dance, came on - I felt it most appropriate) Now, since the results came back negative, I Dr. Rachel think that it's either a Lipoma or possibly a lymph node that is swollen - which can be caused by anything from a sore throat to the deodorant I use. So, as weird as that sounds - it's good news. I go back next week to find out the next course of action. I feel that they will probably remove the mass - that way it will be a smaller scar if it gets bigger down the road and plus it will give me a piece of mind knowing it's not there and a constant reminder when it has its bouts of pain. Still keep me in your prayers because we haven't gotten to the bottom of the problem, but at least we know it's not breast cancer. This is what I have been negotiating with God about (per the first paragraph).

Speaking of random things - there has been a beeping in my house all day about every 3-4 minutes. I have walked this house trying to figure out what the hell beeps. All of the portable phones are on their chargers, the microwave nor toaster oven are on, it's not a beep like the smoke detector. What else could it be? Nuts, driving me nuts.

Tomorrow night I am going to something someone invited me to do at the church. It's called a "Ladies Night Out" - yeah right...My Oxford girls are like - hellz yeah! Yes, it's ladies night, oh what a night. No, No ladies - this is the Baptist church. There will be no 2 for 1 or 1/2 price cover for this cameo I shall make. Random thought, I haven't scrapbooked lately. You know, that was my "thing" when I moved here. I scrapbooked and met nice people. Maybe I have been shunned from that group since I haven't been invited to any parties? Maybe I am the lame one? No body better comment that statement......

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Have you missed me?

I sure have missed myself. Too much going on to know which way is up or down. I had a good weekend with my Chippy. He hadn't been to Koz in 2 weeks. The dogs were so excited to see him they couldn't control themselves. Katie sat in his lap for the longest time about an inch from his face...just staring at him...then giving him kisses. It's so nice to have that unconditional love, a love that no matter how long you are gone or how tired or sad or annoyed you are - there are your 3 babies that love you no matter what and share every emotion with you. That's what it's all about - sometimes they remind me to slow down and literally stop to smell the flowers or examine a leaf that has just fallen from the tree. Such humble little beings they are. We were all so tired last night that we piled in the bed and crashed. I woke up at about 6 to the alarm with everyone (including myself) in the same spot. After hitting the snooze button 3 times we all decided that maybe we should move.

Today is Tuesday and I feel like I'm on day 489276 of a 5 day week. I have been physically and emotionally exhausted for about 6 days, that I can recall. I haven't gotten my groove for the new job yet, I need to just jump in head first but I'm an organizer. I have to plan, organize, then execute. I just haven't moved that far ahead yet. It will come, I pray it will come. Yesterday I organized all the people I have to call this week by county and then ran through the list to see if we even have data in their areas. Then checked on the phone situation, then learned the network streaming thing.

This morning I had a doctors appointment in Jackson so I wasn't productive on the work scene. I did however become very comfortable with a handful of people I met today- they touched my boobs. Uhhh, wait, that didn't come out right - but it's true. As Daniels grandmother, Boosha (sp?) would say "Don't a leta thea men toucha da boobies" - that cracks me up. But I can definitely put one dreaded rumor to rest for all of my young friends - a mamogram does not hurt. It is nothing I'd like to do everyday, but it doesn't hurt. There was a pain chart I stared at while they mashed my boob 1..(doesn't hurt)..2...(annoying)...3...(uncomfortable)...4 etc. all the way to 10. On that scale - I would say a definite 2. I met an old lady while we waited in our front opening gowns, she was nice. To break the uncomfortable silence between the two of us, I was like..."so, I take it we are both here for the same reason?" (I felt like it was a pick up, you come here often?) She said, "Oh yes dear, I come every year." I said "wow, that's great - I'm new." Then we went back to watching the Young and the Restless. She was nice. Great lady, with pretty fingernails.

It's election day and my dad's campaign will finally come to an end. He said that since Texas has a write in vote for Congress or Senate (I can't remember which) that he probably won't know the results until tomorrow. Good Luck to my Pop's he has worked really hard. Like he said, it doesn't matter if it's your 1st time running for office or your 8th time - it doesn't get any easier. Even though he did say he liked watching the first year candidates freak out every now and then or throw a hissy when they find out someone took down one of their campaign signs. As sick as it sounds I sometimes miss the younger days of politics. I may have been 9 years old, but I promise you I knew more about that county than half the elected officials. People don't pay attention to what they say when kids are around, sure they mind their language, but when talking grown up stuff they think we don't have a clue. I'm a sponge people, I absorb it and file it away. I still do that around this small town. I don't know many people, so people feel it ok to talk about someone knowing I don't know who they are talking about. But I file it away and have had the opportunity to meet some of the people others were speaking of. Gotta be on top of your game folks, that's how you gotta roll. Anyway, my fondest memory of my dad's campaign trail was when it was my 10th birthday - oddly enough my birthday falls on March 10th, the time that primary elections are usually held. So, it's the "Big Party" all in one - if my dad wins - great! Roll down the banner that says "Congratulations!" and if he doesn't - it's ok, we still have the banner that his campaign manager had made special for my day of birth "Happy Birthday Rachael" - for those of you that don't know what is wrong with that banner, you aren't my friend. Dad won, I had a birthday and it was great...I got to stay up late and drink Shirley Temples! Fun times, Fun times. I sometimes wonder if my husband will ever go into politics - well if so, he married the right woman. And you wonder how I always remember peoples names? It's a learned gift my dear friends one I deserve and am proud of.

Well I gotta go call Susan to see if she and D closed on the hizzy. I'm jealous. Peace Out.