Monday, August 17, 2009

"But everything happens for a reason"

If you look at the top of my page you see it says

No Really....This Is My Life
Life is funny, but everything happens for a reason
My blog is called "No Really...This Is My Life" because there is always something crazy going on and I felt it appropriate because half the time I feel that it could only happen to me. My url is "truly my life" because I wouldn't expect anything less than truly random stuff to happen to me. The one part of my blog that probably means the most to me and brings everything full circle is the "but everything happens for a reason" line.

I've always said that, my whole life. I've never understood it, but have always said it. It's one of those things that when someone says it to you you sometimes want to reach across and slap them. Why do we say that? "Oh well, everything happens for a reason." Blah blah blah.
But it's true. Things do happen for a reason.

When I was 14 and my step dad died, what was the reason? When I was 17 and my best friend died, what was the reason? When I was 19 I was in a bad car wreck, what was the reason? I can sit here and think 100 miles an hour on how each of these life altering events has changed and formed me to do things I may not have ventured to do or make decisions that have brought me to where I stand today. Everything happens for a reason. Bad things happen for a reason. I don't dwell on these awful things, I think of them often, but reflecting on them only makes me stronger. They are stepping stones, if you will. It's healthy, there is no hatred, there is no remorse only what might have beens. We all do the, "But what if's," we are human.

Lets rewind for a minute. Most of you know this story, but lets rehash. Chip and I moved to Kosciusko for his job in August 2005. It's not an unknown fact that I really disliked it here. In April 2006 we married (I know, if you do the math we lived in sin.) Our first 6 months of marriage was hell because we were both working from home living in the ghetto with a broken A/C in the heat of summer driving each other crazy. Then in October, two hours before we closed on our non ghetto house Chip was relocated to Alabama. I stayed in Kosciusko in the new house and he came home on the weekends. Something kept us here for no real reason. I was a poo poo head about everything but was coping. I switched jobs in June 2007 which made my life a whole lot happier since I had people, but I was still stuck here with myself and I had to suck it up. Chip still commuting back and forth. Then eight months later (Feb 2008) Adrienne was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

I will never forget it, I was in the shower when it hit me (God is funny like that.) He was doing his Glory as I was in all of my Glory. Anyway, my mind was cleared and the path was laid. It all made sense. Everything happened for a reason. Chip and I were sent to Kosciusko not to make my life miserable at all. I was the problem. I was taking everything the wrong way. He knew what He was doing. He brought Chip and I to Kosciusko to settle and care for our loved ones. He brought us here to be with our new found friends and family so they could help us through this time. I wasn't being punished at all, it was just me being impatient. I was being rewarded by Him to be able to have the opportunity to grow and learn and be loved by new people.

Some things I will never know why they happened, and maybe it's because I'm just too impatient to see or wait for the whole big picture. I am sure I know why we were lead here to Koz. I'm sure I know why God said it was time for us to finally have a baby. I'm sure of so many more things now because I can accept the not knowing of why everything happens for a reason.

But that's just one way that God has opened my eyes through Adrienne being his tool. I was able to understand these hard times in a different light. I cannot fathom in my lifetime how many others have been blessed by Adrienne and her works. That was her mission in life, she knew it and she has certainly done it bigger and better than I think even God imagined.


Leanne Lawrence said...

I am praying for you and your family.

Britt said...

Prayers being lifted for you and the family. God is amazing.

Marsha said...

So, so true, friend. I never thought you were being a poo poo head, but if you say so....Love you and praying for y'all!

Leah Maria said...

I am a firm believer that everythings happens for a reason. We might not know the reason at that point in time or at all, but there is always a reason, good or bad. I'm praying for you and your family.

Christy and Billy said...

Rachel, you always say it best. I know things happen for a reason and we always ask why...and most of the time we never get an answer. I feel like I've lost a lot in my life and for some strange reason it comforted me knowing my baby Ty was in heaven with Christina...not that that was the reason for her leaving us...but it somehow comforted me. I like reading your blogs because you make me see things in a different light. You are a great person and I'm glad to have you as such a dear friend. Love you and I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

Jan Johnson said...

Oh Rachel, you're so right. Everything does happen for a reason, and to God be the glory! I'm so sorry for all of your losses. My mom died of cancer a couple of days before Thanksgiving 2003, just two weeks before I graduated with my BS from MSU. Devastating to say the least. Then a year and a half later, Michael and I became unexpectedly pregnant, only to lose the twins to miscarriage. Devastating again. And everything does happen for a reason, even though I don't understand it all either. I miss my mom more and more each day now that I have two, almost three, little ones. But I have to rely on God's strenght & wisdom, not my own. I say all of this to just let you know I do know the heartache you, and especially Jane Claire & Chip, are experiencing. My prayers are with all of you!