Monday, December 14, 2009

Counting Our Blessings

We had our doctor’s appointment today. Hill is weighing in at 7lbs and registering as a 37 week old baby even though I'm really only 35 weeks along. His heart rate was strong at 145 bpm. As much as I feel he's about to fall out Dr. North assured me that I have not dilated any and he was not going to fall out. He said he needs to stay in there at least another 3 weeks to not be a preemie.

We had a sonogram and they ended up doing a 4D as well. They found an abnormality and we are unsure of the severity, but feel confident that it will be something they can fix after he is born. It seems as though our sweet little boy has a cleft lip. Until he is born we won't be able to tell if it extends to his palette or not, but with lots of prayer and a few surgeries he will be ready to give us as many kisses in return as we will give him....well I may be giving him more. It was a complete rarity that they saw this with him so big in there and my being so far along. It's also something he's had and it just went unnoticed. His hand was in front of his face most of the time, but they were able to get a few pictures, some that looked absolutely normal and some that you could tell there was a deformity.

Please pray for my little baby. Pray for everything to be ok. Pray for God to hold our hand through this time as we learn more about what is going on. Pray for no other abnormalities. Pray that it only be the lip and not carry onto the palette. Pray for a peace for me and my family as we absorb all that the doctors tell us. Pray that we are led to the appropriate doctors that can help Hill.

I'm so ready for my baby to get here. He needs to stay in there and grow big and strong though and I respect that. I want nothing more right now in my life than to be able to hold him and just let him know how much he is loved. I sorta wish he could just come out and give me a hug and tell me it will all be alright.

There are no words when your world stands still and your breath is taken away when those few seconds that they say words like deformity, abnormality, uncertainty.....and all you can do now is just sit here and wait for the next few weeks until he gets here to know what the next step is. As sac religious as it sounds it's as if God is playing a huge joke on me because he knows I am a planner. I'm one that needs to understand the whole situation right now backwards and forwards to make an educated decision on what to do next.

As scared as we are we are trying to count our blessings. Hill is perfect in every way he is suppose to be. God doesn't make mistakes.

I go back in a week. We won't know anything else then....all we can do is just pray and continue to thank God for this little Kung fu fighter miracle inside of me. He did wave at us in the sonogram....that was sweet and extremely hilarious.


Cortni said...

Rachel- Chad and I will be praying for you three. I know these last weeks seem like torture and you want to see them so bad.. but you will appreciate it once he is here and healthy. Stick in there! He will be perfect!!!!

Wifetastic said...

Oh Rachel. I'm so sorry. Not that you asked for any advice, but the doula in me wonders if you might not get some good advice from contacting the lactation consultant at the hospital where you will deliver. It might make you feel more "planny" to get some info before he is born.

Much love, sweetheart.

l cummins said...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jer. 29:11

Praying for you, friend. And for you, too, sweet baby Hill.

Sassy said...

Luv you, sweet girl......and baby Hill, too (and Chip, too) :)

Britt said...

Praying for comfort and peace in teh days and weeks to come. God has a plan and purpose for all and I am so sure that Hill will be "PERFECT" in every way.

Jennifer said...

Prayers coming your way, Rachel! You will be so amazed by your baby. Trust in that. He'll amaze you forever, and he'll be the love of your life (in a mama-baby way of course). He already is, but just wait. On-on. Love!

sm2 said...

Praying for you all! I know this must be so stressful for you, but stay positive and have faith! We are so looking forward to meeting Hill! Let me know if you need anything! Love you!

DenKag said...

I will keep you all, especially sweet Baby Hill, in my prayers.