Tuesday, December 22, 2009

36 = 41

What in the world does thirty six equals forty one mean? What it means is that my baby is a giant and is measuring 41 weeks now when I'm only 36 weeks along. Yes, go back to my post a week ago....it said at 35 weeks he was measuring 37 weeks....7lbs....big baby...yadda yadda yadda. How is that possible since I've only gained a pound since last week? Ok, so who has a baby that grows 3 weeks in one week making him 5 weeks bigger than gestated? Oh that would be me, the lady carrying the Hawkins baby.

What to do about a big squeezable baby? Well, leave him in there of course. Make his mama wait to kiss those cheeks and eyes. He isn't ready to come out either. Heart beat is strong at 140 beats per minute, but there has been Zero dilation, Zero effacement, Zero ripening of the cervix.....but he has a head down there, Dr. North felt it. I guess you can't rush perfection....nor do I want to.

You take your time sweet Hill-y poo. Mama doesn't mind the sore hips, janked up back, never being able to get up or down, waddling everywhere, buying stock in Charmin for the 5 rolls I use a day, this crazy "mask" from hormones on my face that make up won't cover up, not being able to tie my shoes, finding shoes that don't stink (I will elaborate another day) and also the undying need for fountain cokes 24-7. Oh, and we can't forget the swollen legs and cankles or the beautiful stretch marks that if you get any bigger I'll just be a walking stretch mark or look like octomom. I really truly don't mind all that because I want what is best for you, the not so tiny one that I love dearly.

Plus, Dr. North IS going to the Cotton Bowl from the 31st through the 2nd and reiterated that I am not going, but Chip could. Punk. He doesn't think the baby will make his debut then and is still holding out until January 14th. I'm gonna need medication.......lots of medication like to function in daily life if this baby waits until the 14th. We may want to go ahead and get Guinness Book people lined up because at this rate of growth this kid will be measuring 60 weeks by that time. He'll be ready for college...probably the size of a line backer!

Poor Dr. North. He couldn't keep a straight face when he measured from the bottom to the top of my belly. As he was checking the heart beat he still had a smug look on his face...finally I said what is up with the face? Why are you smirking? He said...you have a big baby in there.

He said he was also laughing because my friend Allison uses him and I asked Dr. North earlier why if he decided to induce would he not give an epidural before breaking my water? Allison said that was the most awful part of delivery. Dr. North did his whole doctorly thing and gave medical explanation....but then chuckled because he said Allison wasn't supposed to remember any of that once the baby got here. All those bad painful memories were suppose to be wiped away. I said well obviously it made a lasting impression 3 different times for her and I vote for the epidural before any tinkering down there goes on. Maybe I do want to have this baby while he goes to the Cotton Bowl? Spare me!

So in a nutshell, when will Hill be here? If you ask Dr. North - - January 14th. Chip asked since he is so big would we have to have a c-section....the answer - probably so. (Which was followed up by the sarcastically funny - but then you won't have to worry about the pains of my breaking your water!) So does any of this tell us anything we don't already know......absolutely not. We just continue waiting until next Monday at 3:30 when he tells me Hill is measuring 82 weeks and we are still shooting for the 14th of January. Love me some Dr. North. He's a keeper!


l cummins said...

If it makes you feel any better, my water was broken 2, maybe 3, times...not with the same baby, of course...and I don't remember feeling anything but a warm gush of water. Not so bad...you'll be fine :)

Leah Maria said...

Oh my! Let's hope they are wrong in measuring and he is just where he should be!

Melanie said...

Little mama you will be fine!!! My first two babies were on the bigger side and I had them just fine no section!! Great epidurals!
Then my last baby was the smallest and had to have a section. I'll take a regular delivery over a section any day!!!

I'm so excited for you. I love my baby boys and for that matter I just simple loves babies!!!

MoDLin said...

82 weeks - that's hilarious! But I know how you feel. Keep your humor (you're doing a great job!)and hang in there. I look forward to reading about Hill's arrival. Have a great holiday.

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. I measured 43 wks when I delivered Parker..I was actually 39 wks. He weighed 9 lbs 14 oz. He was the biggest baybay in the hospital that day. I am placing bets that Hill will be at least 11 lbs! Got to love some chunky lil boys!!

Jennifer said...

Look here, Ms. Priss. If you still have your sense of humor, then you can't be done yet : P! Just kidding. I have felt your pain, sistah. The last bit is the longest, fo sho. Breaking water = no big deal in my book. You don't need the epidural for that bidness. Hill -- hang tight, sweet baby. It'll be worth the wait!

Princess Abigail said...

Despite all their best high tech machinery, they still often mis-anticipate the size of babies. I was told Abigail was tiny, and she was normal size. I was told William was a HUGE and he was average weight despite being two weeks late. and Nathan was exactly the predicted weight. oh - and all three delivered by cesaerian so my advice is dont worry if thats the path doctors decide to go down - i survived and even almost enjoyed all three!

Alison in France
The Bernard Bunch