Hello...Is There Anybody In There?

June 21st means I’ve made my way into my 18th week. Yay for pretty much the half way mark since I know I won’t be going the full 40 weeks as I’m having a c-section. I really figured that I would have felt this baby by now. I don’t mean to compare pregnancies, but I have no other means to base this on so I revert to what I felt with Hill. Hill was a master kung fu fighter and I was sure he had A.D.D in utero. This kiddo is quite the opposite. So he/she must be chill and hopefully not spastic outside of utero. Lord, I pray this kiddos is not a turd.

We all know I’ve wanted an ultrasound for a while. I just want to see how construction of my bugga boo is going. Having the Doppler done at the appointments is great because I get to hear the heartbeat and that gives me a piece of mind. I’ve been trying to psych myself out by not worrying…have you ever tried to do that? It’s a wasted effort especially for a control freak like me. So, today I called Dr. North. I decided that I’m not over reacting by not having felt this baby and seemingly he agreed. He told me to come in for an ultrasound to give me a piece of mind. Then I started flip flopping. Well maybe I’m over reacting. Maybe since I live an hour and half away I should just see if my local doctor can do a Doppler to check the heartbeat. I’d drop everything to have an ultrasound, no questions asked, but Chip is out of town, I have 13 people coming to my house in 6 hours for Book Club and why hit ultra-panic mode when truly I’ve been panicked for 18 weeks? So, I text my friend to see if we could listen through her Doppler at work at our local hospital. That way I can then rationally decide if I need to rush to Jackson and have this ultrasound. I’m a complete fruit loop….or basket case….or just a freaking fruit basket. Bless my spastic heart. I’m sure everything is fine and I’m just fat and this baby has tiny legs that can’t kick through my blubber for me to know it too is an acrobatic kung fu fighter like its’ brother.

Fast forward…I went to get the Doppler done. The heartbeat was 148 bpm. That was such a relief. Although I do have to say that I am a little sad that I didn’t get to find out today if it’s a boy or girl. I will on Tuesday though!!