I’m At ‘That’ Stage

So Reid and I are trucking along on into mid-week of gestation week numero 25. She is a spinner. I think that she will be one of those circus ladies that spin by their hair from like 30 feet in the air. Impressive. If she gets Chip and Hill’s hair then we can start practice maybe when she’s 2 weeks old…yet if she gets my hair, well her hair won’t grow until she is like 3 years old and we will have to tape bows on her head with double sided sticky tape and find her a new occupation. I’m hoping she won’t wrestle alligators.

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one where you have to get a leveraging kick start with your feet to swing yourself outta bed in the morning (or the 18 times in the middle of the night to tt.) It’s really an art as most of you moms know. You get a workout no doubt, but the key is to hook your foot onto the side of the mattress to pull yourself up.

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one that you don’t really shave your legs as often anymore because you can’t see them so it doesn’t really matter. Yet, I still continue to wear a dress most every day – don’t judge, just say “Bless My Heart.”

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one that getting off the couch makes you feel like an Olympian because the twists and turns you have to do to land on your feet. It’s talent - GOLD! USA! USA!

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one where walking across the house is like running the Boston Marathon because by the time you get there your side hurts from the brisk walk and you’re out of breath.

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one where you stand at the window in your nice cool house to watch your kid play on his swing set outside because you don’t want to endure the heat. Poor Hill, he just wants someone to push him on the swing! Then I feel bad and go push him for like 45 seconds and talk him into coming back inside to play trucks.

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one where anything you ingest gives you heartburn so you feel the need to drink something carbonated to make you burp and in the big scheme of things that probably isn’t the right thing to do but you feel that even water would only add fuel to the firey chest of hell.

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one where you try not to drink anything because you are so freaking tired of having to get up and go to the bathroom ALL DAY LONG. I’m so glad the stock price at my work is rising because if I were a betting girl I’d say they were losing money due to all the toilet paper, paper towels, soap and water I use on a daily basis just back and forth to the potty, and if you want to get technical the wear and tear on the carpet back and forth from my office to the lounge. I will say, in the past month at my office they have had the commercial carpet cleaning company come and clean the carpets and then then twice just this week I’ve seen an “out of order sign” on one of the stalls in the ladies room. I swear when the plumbers walked by my desk they were looking at me in that Godfather-esque “we’ve got our eyes on you” kind of way. They may have even done that scary gesture where they point to their eyes and then to yours – like “watch yo self.” Guilty conscious, maybe? I feel that any day upper management may come up to my office and say, “Rachel, we’re going to need you to start providing your own paper products and soap as you are the cause of the rise of operational costs.” Seriously, if my bladder could come outside of my body it would punch me in the face then run away and never come back. It may just be as tired as I am.

I’m at ‘that’ stage – you know, the one where all the above mentioned things seem like a task so you put your pj’s on when you get home from work with intentions to go to bed at like 8:00pm to avoid any further daily feats.

I can’t say that I’m at ‘that’ stage on this one because I don’t really remember having this issue when pregnant with Hill…but I have Braxton-Hicks contractions so often and all day that there have been a couple times during my relaxing hot bath I thought I may just go ahead and have a water birth right then and there. I’m probably totally over reacting because I fortunately, or unfortunately, however you want to look at it, have never really had a true body debilitating contraction. With Hill I never dilated, he was born at 39 weeks and 4 days - I am confident enough to say that should they not have removed him via csection then he would still be in my belly today, at age 2 and a half. I kid you not. I don’t remember having Braxton-Hicks with Hill…Chip said I did? If I did, they weren’t like this. I do remember thinking Hill was going to fall out of my va-jay jay all the time as he was so low, but I don’t remember him making my stomach turn into a cumbersome tight boulder all day long.

Needless to say this pregnancy has been perfectly fine, extremely different, but good. This rodeo I was so sick the first trimester, the emotional toll I went through until literally like maybe 6 weeks ago, now the perpetual Braxton-Hicks. In the big scheme of things none of this is bad – like at all. I know I’m more tired this go round because a) well I’m pregnant and that’s what happens and b) I’m chasing around and playing with a two year old all the time when I’m not working my other full time job at the bank. Makes me tired just typing that.

Things are good and we are truly blessed. Reid Catherine is going to be here in 3 months and 2 days and we’re getting excited!