Excuses, Excuses

Well I have good excuses for not blogging.  The main one is that my son, who is 16 days old today, and I spent the first 3 days of his life in the hospital then went home on Friday the 15th.  Then that Sunday we went for our 2 day check up at the hospital in Jackson only to find he'd lost a lot of weight and we had to come back 2 days later.  So we went back that Tuesday and he still needed another weigh in so we went back that Friday.  We scheduled an appointment for the following Monday to New Orleans Childrens Hospital to have the cleft team evaluate him.  So back in the car that Sunday to drive to the condo on the coast only to travel to New Orleans Monday and back home to Kosciusko that same night.  Then yesterday, Wednesday we had our 2 week check up at the pediatrician in Jackson.  *and breathe*

So...my excuse is that for 9 days I have been on the road more than in my house.  My poor son thinks we are homeless and live in a car.  Good thing he's a fabulous traveler!

Everyday I think about you guys and crave to blog, but all the clocks around me seem to be sucking up the time and I don't know where it goes.  I made a pact with myself that I wasn't going to blog until I finished these 34 million six hundred eighty two thousand and four thank you notes I have to catch up on.  I am trying to stick to my guns, which in turn deprives you of my rendition of the past 2 weeks.  Soon enough my friends, soon enough.  You have been somewhat patient with me as I try to get my act together...just a little bit longer and I'll be back on track!

Even Chip told me last night that I needed to update my blog.  I cut my eyes at him like really?  We've been so lazy and not busy I should be ashamed of myself.  Then we just cracked up laughing.

Miss you all so much! I haven't been able to catch up on ANYONE'S blog!  I am in withdrawl!  Going into DT (detox) shakes.  So if all of you could just not blog until I get my act together...that'd be great. Thanks!

I leave you with a precious pic of my little Hill. This is not a glamour shot nor did I cheesily pose him. He loves his hands at his face. He's just naturally adorable.

Love ya,
RCH

Charles Hill Hawkins IV

I'm slowly but surely coming out of my fog since birthing the most beautiful baby boy a week ago today. 

Charles Hill Hawkins IV

Born Tuesday, January 12, 2010

9 lbs. 1 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long

We are extremely blessed and fortunate that your prayers and our prayers were lifted and our sweet baby Hill's cleft only affected his lip and did not extend into his nose or palate. He is able to eat, suck, coo, smile (poot), and give the best kisses ever!  We don't even notice it...he's just a precious angel!

Here are a few pictures and I promise to backtrack and give you the whole scoop of the birthing process, the feedings, his dad having to wear latex gloves to change poopy diapers, how wonderful his dad is with him and many many other topics.  In the mean time I hope these pictures will tide you over!

Hill's First Picture

Passing his APGAR test with a 10

(he's so smart already)

First Family Picture

Weigh In

Proud Daddy Showing Him Off

Everyone So Happy!

Hey There Fella

Daddy's Boy

Sweet Dreams

Thumb Sucker

Getting Ready to Head Home

First Car Ride!

Happy at Home!

We are so in love and can't wait to share this experience with all of you!  There will ALWAYS be something to blog about because afterall...we are the Hawkins and live in continual hilarity!

Chip, Hill and I truly appreciate your prayers, calls, texts, emails, casseroles, and the list goes on and on.  Never a day that we aren't so thankful for all of you.

Much Love,
Rachel

Post Written on Thursday...

Sorry I am just now posting this.  It's been sitting in Draft Mode since Thursday.  As you can imagine I've been running around like a spastic goon!  It is now Monday, January 11, 2009 and I have finally figured out the internet connection at the Hampton Inn of Flowood.  Since I really need to be getting some shut eye for Hill's big arrival at 7am in the morning I won't post activities from Friday thru today until later on when I get settled in the hospital.  As for now I am laying in bed eating a monster bag of peanut M&M's and Chip is eating his left over bleu cheese topped ribeye from dinner. Such is life....

So...here is the scoop from last week that I am just now posting.

Here I am!  I feel like this week has been a whirlwind.  Tomorrow, Friday, is my last day of work and seems as though every time I look at something it reminds me of something else I need to do.  I hope to tackle all those monsters today and wrap everything up nice and neat before tomorrow.

We should rewind to Monday, my doctors appointment.  Some of you know that my doctors office is new and fancy and looks like a casino or hotel from the outside. Inevitably by the time I drive from Kosciusko to Jackson I need to use the bathroom because that is Hill's favorite spot to sit while riding in the car...my bladder.  Then it's not like I can just go on and go to the bathroom because everything runs like clock work in that office.  You check in, sit for like 2 minutes, they call you back, you pee in a cup, they take your blood pressure, do blood work if necessary and then you sit in the "sub" waiting room until the nurse calls you back to see the doctor.  It's pretty routine.  So, I always hold it until the pee in the cup time. 

With that said, Monday was different...mother nature / gravity was backwards that day. They had upstairs plumbing issues (not downstairs) so the nurses were forming groups of pregnant ladies to ride the elevator to the 3 or 4 bathrooms downstairs to get the "specimens."  Which explained why the lady in the elevator was holding her pee cup when we got there...it was weird and she felt just as awkward about it. Anyway, it was really funny because we all had to go...bad. We were all noticebly pregnant and they were waddling us around on elevators, back offices, etc just so we could all pee in the cup; thank goodness my nurse didn't make me carry it back upstairs myself.  That was nice and discreat of her to bring a lid and put it in her pocket.

That is my weird story of the week.  You know I always have something weird or funny that happens to me at my dr. appointments.  So, enough about pee in a cup you want to know the baby scoop, don't you?

Hill is measuring 42 weeks now per Dr. North's tape measure.  His heart beats per minute was 148, which is higher than it has ever been, but Dr. North said that is good!  I told him that Hill's heart rate is elevated because he's anxious and ready to come out - Dr. North gave me the, your so silly, look and I said, oh ok, well maybe his mama is anxious and ready to for him to come out?  He examined me and still no dilation, but he felt his head even though he hasn't really dropped enough.  He was about to wrap things up and give me my paperwork for next Monday and I called a big time out.  I  reminded him that he PROMISED a plan at week 38.  He said ok, either you have this baby on your own between now and next Monday or we are doing a c section on Tuesday.  There is your plan.  So...I am not sure if I was in shock, caught off guard, confused or what, but all I could say was...but I want to HAVE him.  He assured me that everyone wants to HAVE their baby and he wants them to, but he worries with him being so big that his shoulders would get stuck or we'd break something of mine or Hill's.  It just really wasn't in the cards.  Chip asked the odds of my going into labor between now and then and he just shook his head that it was really unlikely since I have had no dilation or changes.

I told him I trust him, which I 100% do.  I think I was just a little heart broken and felt like I wasn't give more of an option to try to have him.  I was speechless...I know, it's hard to fathom me not having anything to say.  Dr. North told me he'd call the hospital to schedule everything and I needed to meet him at his desk in a minute. It took me a while to absorb everything and I got a little upset and Chip was so supportive and excited and kept reminding me we are having a baby on Tuesday this is wonderful!  I breifly got over myself and met Dr. North at his desk, he said Tuesday morning at 7am I will be having a baby.  Monday I will have a sonogram and then meet with him afterwards.

So, when we got to the car I called my family and told them that they should probably fly in Monday the 11th and we'd all get a hotel that night since we had to be there early Tuesday morning.  Afterwards I felt bad because I was so unenthused and they were so excited.  Why was I the only one not happy? I was such a crying faced poo poo head about the most exciting time of my life!  My unhappiness had nothing to do with Hill and him making his debut, but I just felt cheated a little.  Like I have been fearing.  This big experience in my life that will only happen for the first time once was not so much a surprise anymore.  I hate surprises, but was looking forward to the bit of unknown this time.  I know, that is totally not ever who I am nor does it fall in line with my OCD planning fetish.  Again, I got over myself and by an hour or so later I was in full planning mode... still a little heart broken but no doubt excited.

So that was Monday (the 4th) and today is Thursday.  I feel like 24 days have passed since then. 

Ok, so that's the end of that post.  It's really now Monday (the 11th).  Holy cow, we are having a baby tomorrow!  I need to get some sleep.  I hope I sleep.  I have a little bit of indie and a nervous stomach.

Chip is super cute and super excited and that makes me even more excited! 

Here is a reminder list of what I need to talk about later...remind me if I forget.
1) Chip had the chance to drive really fast with his flashers on because we thought my water was "leaking" on Sunday.
2) How when they told us to come to Jackson to check if my water broke, Chip didn't know what to do so he sat in our kitchen and ate chicken wings.
3) This Monday's Dr. appointment and how Dr. North didn't think my asking for a tummy tuck was funny.

Ok team!  Tomorrow at o seven hundred we will have a baby!  I promise as soon as I get back on track I'll post how cute my baby is.  Until then.  Hang tight!

Love you all...I'm off to have a baby!
RCH

Andrew Edward Mitchell

I wanted to make sure you all keep my friend Lindsey and her family in your thoughts and prayers.  Today is the day they lay sweet Andrew in his final resting place.

Lindsey's words are so strong; they explain her internal struggle so beautifully...
"I love a boy named Andrew Edward Mitchell and talking about him makes me feel closer to him and more peaceful inside."

Hold Please.....

Sorry for the delay!  There has been no birthing of the baby...yet.  I go back Monday for a sonogram and doctor appointment then I am scheduled for a c section on Tuesday January 12th.
As wonderful as it is that I can plan and be more prepared and organize with my family when to be here I had to fight a few personal deamons.  I'm better now, but will not lie that I was really upset that I have had no dilation no nothing to make any of this happen on my own.  The fact that I've grown such a big baby seemingly makes me ineligible to birth this baby.

I will fill you all in on how the appointment went and try to remeber and replay my whacked out dream last night about Dr. North and how he turned into some really big weird-o that went postal on me from a random FaceBook post.  Maybe I didn't fight all these deamons?  Maybe I need more rest?

Happy New Year! Come on out!

New Years was fantastic. We had a great time at Kittrell's in Lexington,  MS with our friends Kim Wiggers,  Dick Carter, the Pettits and the Vances. Good food, good friends, good band.......what more can you ask for?  I will post pictures soon.

New Years Day was relaxing.  Chip made red beans and rice and I made cole slaw, for the cabbage.  I ate all the cabbage myself because as you all know Chip doesn't eat veggies or greenery of any type.  Someone has to eat for prospertiy around here.  I made corn bread for the first time and it was actually good!  Chip went hunting and Whitney came over to watch The Hangover and play Super Mario Brothers.

Saturday, January 2nd was the 2010 Cotton Bowl.  In 2009, Ole Miss played the last Cotton Bowl in the old Stadium and this year they played the first Cotton Bowl in the new stadium.  We brought home wins both times!  Go Rebs!

In true Hawkins fashion we cooked up a bunch of food for the game like hot wings, lemon pepper wings, jalapeno deer meat wrapped with bacon, pineapple deer meat wrapped with bacon, red beans and rice, cream cheese and picapepper, chips, and other stuff that Chef Boy R Chippy cooked up.  Who was going to eat all this food?  We didn't know until they got here and ended up having a house full of people and not one left over.  We love to have people over and cook and entertain. 

After the game we played Rock Band and then true to Rachel fashion when I get tired....I just go to bed.  Everyone knows this.  I'm not being rude, I expect you to stay around and hang out and have a good time, but if I'm tired...I go to bed.  I haven't really felt bad or been tired, but just feel like I've been hit by an 18 wheeler...all 18 tires.  I feel like I have the flu but without feeling bad...only achy and immobile.

Disclaimer: I'm a whiney butt and pull out the violins.
My hips and pelvis don't really work.  I know it's because Hill is taking his mark. I can't get up and down and then the swelling in my feet has not gone down since New Years, which is weird because after I lay in bed and sleep - - when I wake up they are usually semi normal again.  No such luck these past three days. As a matter of fact I took at warm bath at like 11:00 last night and then this morning at like 2am my hands, arms and face were so swollen I called the doctor.  I've never called the emergency line before but was a little concerned about the fact my watch almost didn't come off it was so tight.  The emergency line is crazy fast.  They said someone would call me back within 15 minutes...it was more like 15 seconds.  Since we all know Dr. North is not on call because he went to the Cotton Bowl, Dr. Johnson called me back.  She suggested that I elevate my legs above my heart for the swelling.  So that lasted for like an hour in the recliner, then I had to go back to my bed.  I get RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) when I sit in the recliner for too long.  I always want to lay on my side in bed.

Now I'm up, I'm awake and blown up like a beached whale.  I think Hill is coming soon.  The dogs think Hill is coming soon too.  They are so clingy and want to lay right up on me.  They have that crazy sixth sense.  We are all super ready for his sweet little big self to come on out and play!  Hopefully tomorrow we will know so much more.  Now that Dr. North is back in the vacinity I am even more hopeful Hill will come before my appointment tomorrow at 3:30.

I think I'm becoming that annoying pregnant lady.  I have enjoyed my pregnancy so much, it's so weird that you hit this certain point and it's like...ok, enough now.  Let's get this show on the road!  I've been so patient to meet my little boy....I'm ready to kiss those fat cheeks!  Bring em' on!!

Cast Iron Skillet

Before I close out 2009 I needed to give a big shout out to my cast iron skillet! 

Last week she turned 71 years old.  My grandmother received this beauty in December 1938 as a wedding gift and it has cooked many of meals for many of people as you can only imagine.  Fried Chicken, jalepeno corn bread, bacon, just to name a few of my favorites.  Everything seems to taste better out of this skillet.

Mamaw gave me this heirloom in July 2008 and passed away 7 months later in February 2009, she was 88. It may just be one of my most prized posessions.

There are also 2 little ones that are just as wonderful.

What a wonderful gift I've been given.  I am also very fortunate because my husband adores them just as much as I do.  Him being the chef of the house treats them with the same respect and honor that they deserve! 

Here's to another 71 years ol' skillet!

Shower me with....Sonic

Wait...what?  Ya'll know me. I'm scatter brained.  The title of my blog is two seperate trains of thought.

Last night I had a fabulous baby shower with some of my most favorite people in Kosciusko, the Ya-Ya's and good family friends.  All of whom have raised my husband to be the fine strapping young man we see today.  The Ya-Ya's are Adriennes' life long best friends that took me in from day 1 as if I was always a Hawkins. These crazy girls are the ones that never make me feel like my family is over 700 miles away in Texas and it always warms my heart knowing they are there for us to call on anytime...for anything.  So, with that said, Hill has so many surogate grandparents it's obscenely wonderful.

The shower was at Mrs. Judi Bell's house and she did it up fantastic!  Punch, homemade icebox cookies and probably the most fabulous custard I've ever eaten in my entire life.  Hill received so many wonderful things and officially has a sufficient supply of diapers for now.  Yay!  We received all kinds of bedtime calming lotions and bath washes...I think they of all people know any baby of Chip's needs some type of calming something. They were surprised to hear that still 32 years later Chip doesn't sleep.  I asked them if it was possible to OD my baby on calming lotion? 

I can picture it now. 

2am... Hill on his changing table crying,

I'm crying standing over him squirting calming lotion all over him

wondering why he won't stop.

That is when I will be calling the Ya-Ya's asking, what in the world do I do? Anyway, I had a fantastic time and am so appreciative of all the ladies that came.  I love you all more than you'll ever know!  Thanks for everything!

I also want to thank all the people that sent me emails about my post yesterday.  I am glad that you all are comfortable enough to send me emails about your experiences on birthing big babies, c sections, pros, cons, it all is very very helpful and insightful.  Please keep the advice and input coming!  You know I love information!!

Some of you prefaced your emails with...I know we don't know each other very well, but... Girls, girls, girls....please.  We are all BFF's here.  You know about my panties and you know about my feet, for Pete's sake you know about the stains in my bra.  You know me up close and sometimes too personal, so I would hope that sharing your thoughts and opinions with me would come second nature and is most definately expected!  Even if it is via email instead of a comment for the other readers to see.  I respect that and appreciate all feedback.  So, I thank you very very very much!  Love to you all!

So onto the second train of thought in my title...Sonic.  Last night all over Facebook everyone was talking about our local Sonic closing.  I kept my cool until I found out the facts, but have to admit that I was scared at first.  My friend Marsha sent me a text late last night because she immediately feared for me and thought - How is Rachel going to get her Fountain Coke fix now?  She knows me all too well, that silly Marsha.  As horrifying as it is these were my thoughts exactly, then my thoughts went to, Oh No!  Where can I get a hamburger at 7:45 in the morning?  Thank goodness they are only closing shop for a little while to re-vamp it and make it what Marsha dubbed a "Shiny Sonic."  That means it's fancy and new.

So, like any pregnant person, especially from my instant gratification generation, I woke up early this morning, got dressed and drove to Sonic.  I'm not sure if it was because I know it may be the last burger I have from Sonic while Hill is in utero or if it was that I was the first person of the day to order a hamburger, but that was probably the most fantastic burger I've ever had.  It was made with love, extra butter or something special this morning.  I got an indigestion filled Route 44 Cherry Vanilla Coke and am going to bring the Sonic 2009 experience to an end on that note, I don't think it can be topped.  Can't wait for the Shiny 2010 Sonic!  Hill will love it.  Maybe we can tell Hill that because of him needing a continual supply of Route 44 Cokes and #1's with mayo and tater tots at 7:45 am, Kosciusko Sonic was able to upgrade to a fancy facility.  They should probably name it after him.  Wait....Hill can't take all of the credit.  His BFF, Pearce Marquerdt, played a large role in financing the reconstruction as well. 

Ok friends, I will probably not talk to you before the new year comes.  I want each and every one of you to have a safe and happy new year!  I hope that 2010 is better than 2009; and as we add another Hawkins into the mix may we look forward to more crazy antics along the way!  Can you imagine?

37 Weeks & Feet

Yesterday's doctors appointment was unproductive, but a step closer to next week...week 38.  Week 38 is the week he promises we get to make a plan for my baby Hill's arrival.
At week 37 our baby boy is said to measure in again at 41 weeks.  I say "said" loosely because I originally asked him what I was measuring and he said 48.......I raised my voice and said 7 weeks in 1 week?  Good Gawd! So he pulled out the measuring tape again and said...oh ok, you are right, it's still 41 - I misread it.  I'm still not sure if he was humoring me or if he is the one going to contact Guiness Book to be there in the delivery room.

I let him know about our sweet niece Addie being born at 8lbs 10oz and he assured Chip and me that Hill had surpassed his older cousin in weight already.  Oh yes, I must publicly apologize for blaming the Hawkins on the size of my son.  Dr. North informed me that it normally follows the maternal birth weight.  Ummm...I was little.  Like 6 maybe 7 lbs?  Maybe we have some type of reverse something where he'll be a big baby and a skinny adult.  Where I was a small baby and a big adult?  Here's hoping to you kiddo!  Truth be known I feel like this Hawkins gene is just super strong and trumps my Childers gene in everything.  Whatever. As long as he eats his veggies I'll be happy.

As for other important things to document; he has a heart beat of 137 bpm which is good and I have dilated ZERO - - AGAIN...which is not good.  Well, it's not bad, but it just means that he is not coming out any time soon.  So, looks like we've made it through Christmas, will make it through New Years and on past the Cotton Bowl (which Dr. North has not packed for yet...I asked) and right out of claiming him on our taxes this year.  So we go back again at the same Bat Time and the same Bat Place Monday 3:30pm, January the 4th (week 38) and we will talk more about an action plan.  HE PROMISED! 

I think I have been very patient about the situation and not tormenting Dr. North about it.  Chip probably disagrees because he is the one that has to hear my daily sob of "my baby is never coming out."  Whaaa.  I think Chip is quite possibly more ready for Hill to arrive than I am!  Wonder if it's because he's excited or if it's because he wants me to stop being so consumed in why he isn't out yet!  What a wonderful daddy he will be.  I can't wait.  Obviously! 

What I do know... Dr. North said he is of the opinion that no person should have to birth a 9lb anything.  I gently touched his hand and said "God Bless you, Dr."  So, that means that my baby is potentially over 9lbs and I will more than likely be having a c section.  I secretly am torn.  I will be upset if Hill weighs in less than 9lbs and I didn't get the opportunity to go through the birthing process.  I will feel a little cheated. Is that weird?  As my friend said, if he is bigger than 9lbs, my 'hooha' will thank me.

So let's talk about this possible c section and my feelings on the situation. 
1) He will not have a cone head - that is a plus.  Chip had a big cone head and it's my understanding it was so bad his dad thought he needed to have surgery.  Given, his heroic mama birthed his 9lbs 10oz self.  Wow is all I can say.
2) He will look more like Winston Churchill.  What?  Yes. According to my husband all babies look like Winston Churchill when they are born.
3) A c section is scheduled.  This is exciting for me and my OCD because I get to plan!  We ALL know I love to plan!  Yet, it still takes away from the whole rush-to-the-hospital-oh-my-goodness-we-forgot-the-camera-holy-cow-we-are-having-a-baby moment.  Yet, this is a plus for Chip because he has this HUGE fear I am going to have this baby in the car on the way to the hospital. The down side is he said that every man has the dream and awaits the opportunity of driving super illegally fast to the hospital and not getting a ticket.
4) My family will have time to prepare to be here for the birth if I have a c section.  They are all in Texas and want to get to Mississippi as soon as possible!  Everyone already has their bags packed and are just waiting for a GO!

If I have a c section it will be just fine.  I want the safest route for both me and my baby. At this stage he is locked up in there tight and even though he feels like he is falling out I was assured that he is not going to.  Well isn't that good news?

Jane Claire asked me today if I thought that Hill would have what I dubbed the Hawkins shoebox feet.  I totally forgot to look at the sonogram with his foot on his head to see!  This is something I didn't think about, something very important.  How could I have not thought about this in the past 9 months? Have you ever seen JC or Chip's feet?  They crack me up.  Like maybe they should buy shoes just to wear the box they came in.  I'm not talking trash, seriously, they laugh with me about it.  They know it's true.  It's funny cute in like a Flintstone yabba dabba doo kind of way. 

Dear Lord, please spare my sweet baby the shoebox feet.  Thanks!

Well I have to admit that I may rather my son have shoebox feet than my stinky feet.  It's really bad.  Like take what you are thinking and multiply it by a trillion.  You know me, I always tell on myself.  I have boom-bostic chronic foot odor. Chip can't wait until I'm not pregnant anymore so that I can hopefully get on medicine to make them stop smelling.  If they don't have foot odor medicine then he more than likely will single handedly fund for a pharmecutical company to do the R&D to develop it.  This isn't new news.  My dad tells stories of when I was a child and they were in the living room watching tv and my shoes were by the couch.  He thought something had died, but my brothers said it was my shoes.  Probably my white canvas Keds from 1986 with the curly shoe strings..or it may have been my Reebok hightops with velcro?  Either way this stems back over 20 some odd years.  I hate shoes, maybe it's for this reason?  If I could go barefoot 24-7 I would. 

Now that I'm pregant the odor has been cranked up loud. I only have a couple of shoe wear options in my closet. My tennis shoes, my Keen black stretchy flats, my flip flops and two pairs of dress shoes (one black one metalic).  Since I have these few options they are on super wear smelly overload.  They all live outside on my patio until it's time for me to put one of them on in the morning time.  I'm serious.  The other morning I was in the shower and smelled something... oh it was my shoes, I forgot to put them outside.  They were by my closet like 10 feet away from my steaming hot shower with smell good shampoo circulating the air.  My shoe odor trumped my clean odor.  This past weekend I finally got the courage to ask Chip if he maybe threw away my black dress shoes because I haven't seen them in like a month.  He said he didn't, but he might have not been able to take it anymore and tossed them.  I can't be upset.

I could go on and on and on about how bad it is. 

There are hundreds if not thousands of stories across the globe about my foot odor.  It's ok.  I cope with it.  I'm not ashamed.  I just do not wish this curse on my son.  Maybe he will have my feet without the odor.  Bless his heart if he has his daddy's feet with my foot odor.  He's doomed for life!  Great, one more thing to worry about! 

Adrienne Brooks Overstreet

My niece

 Adrienne Brooks Overstreet

was born this beautiful morning at 8:05 

Addie weighs 8lbs 10oz and is 20 in. long! 

Jane Claire and baby are doing wonderful! 

I hope to receive pictures soon!

Uncle Chippy and Aunt Ray Ray

are so excited and can't wait to meet her!

Hill is trying to kick himself out of the womb, unsuccessfully, to meet her!  We are so upset we are unable to be on the Coast with Jane Claire & Bubba, but it's further than I can travel with Hill in utero right now. 

We go to the doctor this afternoon at 3:30 and will see if he's even remotely ready to visit his cousin Addie in the near future.

Lady In Waiting

I feel like a lady in waiting.  I've heard of a lady in waiting, but never really knew what it meant so I googled it....
A lady of a royal court appointed to serve or attend a Queen, Princess, or high ranking noblewoman. A Lady in Waiting was not quite a servant. Ladies in Waiting were considered 'noble companions' who, by their status and nobility, could better advise a woman of high station.

So, technically I'm not a true lady in waiting because I'm waiting to serve or attend my little Prince, we aren't really royalty or noblemen. Lady in waiting has nothing to do with birthing babies.  Yet, I'm sure to deem me a servant status would be appropriate.  So, whatever...it sounded good until I broke it down.

I'm pathetic....so sad.  This morning I couldn't even stand there to blow dry my hair.  I had to go get a stool from the kitchen to sit down to do my hair and make up.  Last night I didn't eat dinner because I saw an infomercial on Smores and only wanted smores or baskin robbins ice cream.  The slow cooked pot roast we made sounded extremely unappealing and it's like my favorite under any other circumstance.  Then I didn't go to baskin robbins because I didn't know what I would get and couldn't get off the couch and cahnge out of my pajamas at 6:00 pm so I just laid there....at 7:00 I decided the furthest I could go was the bedroom to be my final resting place.  Again, I'm pathetic.  Glad we get off work early this afternoon and then I have 3 full days of probably doing a whole lot of nothing.  Sounds fabulous!  I secretly hope that I get a second wind so that I can feel better about some nesting things that have not been tended to. 

Merry Christmas Eve my friends......hope you all have a wonderful day with friends and family or even just sitting on the couch doing a whole lot of nothing sounds fabulous.

Love to you all.
RCH

36 = 41

What in the world does thirty six equals forty one mean? What it means is that my baby is a giant and is measuring 41 weeks now when I'm only 36 weeks along. Yes, go back to my post a week ago....it said at 35 weeks he was measuring 37 weeks....7lbs....big baby...yadda yadda yadda. How is that possible since I've only gained a pound since last week? Ok, so who has a baby that grows 3 weeks in one week making him 5 weeks bigger than gestated? Oh that would be me, the lady carrying the Hawkins baby.

What to do about a big squeezable baby? Well, leave him in there of course. Make his mama wait to kiss those cheeks and eyes. He isn't ready to come out either. Heart beat is strong at 140 beats per minute, but there has been Zero dilation, Zero effacement, Zero ripening of the cervix.....but he has a head down there, Dr. North felt it. I guess you can't rush perfection....nor do I want to.

You take your time sweet Hill-y poo. Mama doesn't mind the sore hips, janked up back, never being able to get up or down, waddling everywhere, buying stock in Charmin for the 5 rolls I use a day, this crazy "mask" from hormones on my face that make up won't cover up, not being able to tie my shoes, finding shoes that don't stink (I will elaborate another day) and also the undying need for fountain cokes 24-7. Oh, and we can't forget the swollen legs and cankles or the beautiful stretch marks that if you get any bigger I'll just be a walking stretch mark or look like octomom. I really truly don't mind all that because I want what is best for you, the not so tiny one that I love dearly.

Plus, Dr. North IS going to the Cotton Bowl from the 31st through the 2nd and reiterated that I am not going, but Chip could. Punk. He doesn't think the baby will make his debut then and is still holding out until January 14th. I'm gonna need medication.......lots of medication like to function in daily life if this baby waits until the 14th. We may want to go ahead and get Guinness Book people lined up because at this rate of growth this kid will be measuring 60 weeks by that time. He'll be ready for college...probably the size of a line backer!

Poor Dr. North. He couldn't keep a straight face when he measured from the bottom to the top of my belly. As he was checking the heart beat he still had a smug look on his face...finally I said what is up with the face? Why are you smirking? He said...you have a big baby in there.

He said he was also laughing because my friend Allison uses him and I asked Dr. North earlier why if he decided to induce would he not give an epidural before breaking my water? Allison said that was the most awful part of delivery. Dr. North did his whole doctorly thing and gave medical explanation....but then chuckled because he said Allison wasn't supposed to remember any of that once the baby got here. All those bad painful memories were suppose to be wiped away. I said well obviously it made a lasting impression 3 different times for her and I vote for the epidural before any tinkering down there goes on. Maybe I do want to have this baby while he goes to the Cotton Bowl? Spare me!

So in a nutshell, when will Hill be here? If you ask Dr. North - - January 14th. Chip asked since he is so big would we have to have a c-section....the answer - probably so. (Which was followed up by the sarcastically funny - but then you won't have to worry about the pains of my breaking your water!) So does any of this tell us anything we don't already know......absolutely not. We just continue waiting until next Monday at 3:30 when he tells me Hill is measuring 82 weeks and we are still shooting for the 14th of January. Love me some Dr. North. He's a keeper!

Diaper Changing 101

This weekend Chip said he didn't know how to change a diaper. We can't have that; so we enlisted our first born, Katie Lou, to be the practice baby.

Much like swaddling......Chip is a pro!  What a good Daddy he already is!

Tomorrow, Monday, we have an appointment at 3:30.  I'm sure Dr. North will just check the heart rate and for dilation.  I don't think Hill is ready to make his debut, but we have the car packed up just in case. 

Fantastic People

There is something about the people in this town I live in. I can't explain it. It's as if we have known each other forever, though I've only been here in Kosciusko for 4 years. Some of you I've only known for 2 1/2 years since working at the bank and others only months through community activities and then some of my readers I've never ever even met.

I've lost count of the emails, comments, notes, dropping by the house or the office and all of the calls and texts that I've received. Your words of encouragement and prayers have been positively overwhelming. We have gained so much strength through all of you. I knew that Chip and I were blessed when we had so much support and love from everyone before, during and after Adrienne's passing....but Adrienne was a phenomenal woman and as ridiculous as it sounds I knew you all were there for us, but it never really sunk in until now that you were really there for US. Does that even make sense?
It's not just the people in the community either. Let's talk about the people I work with. The bank I work for is a publicly traded company on the stock exchange. It's considered part of corporate America. We have about 48 branches in 4 states. Tell me how many billion dollar companies you know that have a link to a daily devotional on their website? My company cares about me. People ask how I'm doing. People openly tell me they are praying for me. My boss understands that family comes first and comes to my office to check on me to see how I am then before he leaves tells me he too is praying for us. Everyone has an open door policy and I feel comfortable enough with all of them to use it. The people are genuine. They write me sweet notes and bring me Skittles. It's not just in times of hardship either. It's always. For example, just this morning the cleaning lady left a Christmas card on my desk for me and my family. Who does that? These wonderful people do.
I could go on and on about all these fantastic people in my life. You all know who you are and you all don't just live in Kosciusko either. I just want to say a sincere thank you from me, Chip and Hill.

Love to you all!

Information Super Highway

Today I took off work. I knew I'd get no sleep last night and had a bunch of research to do today as well as spend time with my Chippy and complete the tasks we failed to accomplish yesterday in Jackson. As presumed, I got a sporadic 4 hours of sleep throughout the night and woke up bright and early to contact the plethora of people that could help educate us on what we needed to know. I contacted the children’s hospital in New Orleans, the lactation specialist at Woman's Hospital, the breastfeeding specialist, my very well educated and professional speech pathologist friend, a local friend who has dealt with a similar issue and then contacted family to help educate them on the situation and what I'd gathered. All that was before lunch. Then this afternoon we headed back to Jackson to do the big Sam's and Academy trip we weren't up to yesterday evening after 3 hours of being at the doctor’s office.


We feel better about the situation now that we are more educated. Of course we don't know the severity of the cleft until he gets here, but know the ins and outs of what steps we need to take and who to contact when the time comes. We still have more research to do...that's what you get when you have an analyst as a mom and a planner as a dad. Given I'm a credit analyst and his dad is a financial planner....it's still in our DNA to plan, evaluate and research all aspects of everything. We can't help it. We are nerds.

I've talked to the head nurse of the cleft & craniofacial team in New Orleans and she is super nice and full of information and happy we are taking matters into our hands now to be better educated it makes it so much easier on everyone once he gets here. She let me know the steps I need to take and what I need to do once Hill gets here they are very proactive in early treatments and surgical evaluations, etc. For example, with the lip they prefer to do the surgical procedure mere weeks after his birth. Yet they don't do the surgery for the palate until about 9 months old. They have a genetic doctor that he would see to evaluate if there are any other disorders or syndromes associated with the cleft. She answered questions I didn't even know I had and we are very impressed with them so far.

UMC (University of Mississippi Medical Center) has a team of doctors and surgeons as well which is fantastic to have so close. We need to learn more about what they can do and their time line of actions, group of doctors, etc. So once we talk to them we will have a better idea doctor wise where we feel more comfortable and of course are open to any other suggestions and recommendations. I think we've decided that we are more into the "team of doctors" route as opposed to chasing plastic surgeons over here and audiologists and periodontists over there and genetic doctors elsewhere. There are about 8 different doctors that need to be involved in the process and evaluation. Communication between these doctors is key to us.

Seemingly the daily challenge that we will face is the feeding, if the palate is affected. Once Hill gets the swing of feeding from the breast, if possible, or specialized / modified bottle then everything else should run smoothly. Each person I talked to stressed the importance of giving him breast milk. I had planned on taking that route anyway, God willing. Hill will need it to help with immunities and each person assured me that in order to make sure he is getting enough at all times it is important that when I'm not feeding then I am pumping more so than most new mothers. As a matter of fact they suggested I rent an industrial grade hospital breast pump. Sounds super sonically abusive to my boobies. They stressed the importance of having a support group of people to help feed him because I would be exhausted. It is dire that he stays plump and healthy for surgeries and that he receive these nutrients and vitamins through breast milk since he may not be eating all the things other kids his age would be developing into. So we need to pray that my boobies produce what they need and I don't tire of being a milking cow...for a time line that is undetermined.

I will be more than happy to answer any questions all of you phenomenally wonderful people have. Please ask them. If I don't know the answer then it's something I need to ask about anyway. The million dollar question is how did this happen? It's definitely not anything I did or didn't do or Chip did or didn't do, it's just a blip in Mother Nature. It affects 1 in 700 children and is usually genetic, but we cannot find where in our families it came from. If we decide to have other children the percentage that this can happen again is extremely high. It's a chromosome disorder and the most common birth defect in babies. How will this affect Hill's children? Well statistics, which I haven't read, but Chip did -shows that there would be a 1 in 14 chance his children would be born with a cleft. With the technology we have today, cleft will probably be obsolete in 600 years when I let Hill marry and have kids of his own.

We must be strong. I'm not going to lie or sugar coat anything.....I'm human and I cry. I'm hormonal so it's often and unannounced. My heart hurts for my little boy and the unknown ahead. I depend on you all for continual prayers, support, comments, a shoulder and allowing me to use this blog as an outlet.

I feel your prayers.....they are so settling.

Counting Our Blessings

We had our doctor’s appointment today. Hill is weighing in at 7lbs and registering as a 37 week old baby even though I'm really only 35 weeks along. His heart rate was strong at 145 bpm. As much as I feel he's about to fall out Dr. North assured me that I have not dilated any and he was not going to fall out. He said he needs to stay in there at least another 3 weeks to not be a preemie.


We had a sonogram and they ended up doing a 4D as well. They found an abnormality and we are unsure of the severity, but feel confident that it will be something they can fix after he is born. It seems as though our sweet little boy has a cleft lip. Until he is born we won't be able to tell if it extends to his palette or not, but with lots of prayer and a few surgeries he will be ready to give us as many kisses in return as we will give him....well I may be giving him more. It was a complete rarity that they saw this with him so big in there and my being so far along. It's also something he's had and it just went unnoticed. His hand was in front of his face most of the time, but they were able to get a few pictures, some that looked absolutely normal and some that you could tell there was a deformity.


Please pray for my little baby. Pray for everything to be ok. Pray for God to hold our hand through this time as we learn more about what is going on. Pray for no other abnormalities. Pray that it only be the lip and not carry onto the palette. Pray for a peace for me and my family as we absorb all that the doctors tell us. Pray that we are led to the appropriate doctors that can help Hill.

I'm so ready for my baby to get here. He needs to stay in there and grow big and strong though and I respect that. I want nothing more right now in my life than to be able to hold him and just let him know how much he is loved. I sorta wish he could just come out and give me a hug and tell me it will all be alright.


There are no words when your world stands still and your breath is taken away when those few seconds that they say words like deformity, abnormality, uncertainty.....and all you can do now is just sit here and wait for the next few weeks until he gets here to know what the next step is. As sac religious as it sounds it's as if God is playing a huge joke on me because he knows I am a planner. I'm one that needs to understand the whole situation right now backwards and forwards to make an educated decision on what to do next.


As scared as we are we are trying to count our blessings. Hill is perfect in every way he is suppose to be. God doesn't make mistakes.


I go back in a week. We won't know anything else then....all we can do is just pray and continue to thank God for this little Kung fu fighter miracle inside of me. He did wave at us in the sonogram....that was sweet and extremely hilarious.

It's all about me

I have had a wonderful past 3 days!

Thursday after work I treated myself to a pedicure. Being that everything from the knees down is like a big sausage....I'd hoped to get a leg and foot massage out of the deal but as soon as the lady started to rub the magical menthol stuff on my legs that made my shins grow lungs and aerate. She commented how tight my calves where......yes, yes they are....that is why I am here. Please rub them. She didn't. What a punk...being my first time at this pedi place I'm not sure if this is normal protocol or if she was worried I'd birth the baby in the foot tub. Either way, I was disappointed in that aspect, but happy because she got the hoofs off my heels and painted my toes a pretty redish pink fall color. It was nice. Hill will appreciate it being that my toes will be one of the first things he sees when he comes out. I'm sure he'll love it.

Then yesterday after work I got my hair 'did'. I got my hair trimmed and colored -- and again, my grey hairs did not take as well as they usually have pre pregnancy. I hope it's just hormones...I guess we will know next go round.

Then today.....I have become one with our couch. I've caught up with most every thing on the DVR in the living room and then some. It's just been me, my mommy boppy pillow, a down comforter, the couch and the pups. I have not moved in 6 hours (except to go to the bathroom). I am resting. It is nice. I feel no guilt. Chip is out at his annual Mountain Man retreat, his boy time. It's his favorite time of year and all the guys look forward to, talk about, and plan for it 364 days out of the year. I love that they do that and their stories crack me up year round.

Tomorrow I plan to possibly do the same thing as today. I may relocate to the recliner....just depends on if I get a wild hair or not.

Monday is the big day....the sonogram (2:30pm) and visit with Dr. North (3:00 pm). We will know more about when Hill will get here after that. I can't wait. I have felt like he has been wanting to fall out for the past couple days. I have to get a tutorial on how to time contractions, etc. I've been having some, they aren't the real deal...I assume those are to be painful. I don't know. I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be now that my hair is 'did' and my toes are purdy.

I will update you all Monday evening or Tuesday morning on what the doctor says. In the mean time I'll just be here in the living room if you need me.....whether it is the couch or recliner is yet to be determined.

Baby Andrew

I'm not sure if you ever check out the right of my page under "Daily Readings" but my friend Corinne has been posting the status of her little nephew on her blog, She Do Nothing All Day

Andrew is 4 1/2 days old today and has been a little fighter from the get go.  Please keep baby Andrew and his strong wonderful beautiful family in your prayers as they go through this tremendously tough time.

Pretties

I got a happy today!  One of my co-workers, Sandra, has started a new hobby and makes these pretty crosses with beads and rocks.  The other day she asked me what color Hill's room is and I told her neutral / natural colors. 

Tell me if this isn't perfect!

Her husband cuts out the metal backing and she glues the stones on.  She has Christmas colored ones and everything.  They are great!  I've tried to get her to sell me a couple but she says she's doing it for fun and is just giving them away.  I'd love to give them as gifts but I don't have the heart to get any more and not pay her for them. 

What a sweet sweet cross for my little boy's room.  How thoughful of her to make that one special for him.

1 Corinthians 13 Christmas Style

Today at my Frazzle Female Bible Study my friend Gina read this poem.  It puts a lot of things into perspective about Christmas and what it is truly about.  So often we lose touch of the reason for the season.  I challenge you as this month continually gets hectic and our minds become 'frazzled' to try to take a couple of steps back and remember this.....

1 Corinthians 13 Christmas Style
©By Sharon Jaynes

If I decorate my house perfectly with lovely plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights, and shiny glass balls, but do not show love to my family - I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals, and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family - I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family - it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties, and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love doesn't envy another home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of your way.
Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
Love never fails. Video games will break; pearl necklaces will be lost; golf clubs will rust. But giving the gift of love will endure.