Best Daddy Ever - Child birthing Class Night 3 & 4

I am doubling up on this post since we are dedicated learners and went to child birthing class two nights in a row! Chip is unable to attend our last Monday class (November 30th) so we went to Week 4 Tuesday night class last night.


Week 3 (Monday night) was informative. We learned about all the scary things that haunt me like epidurals, c-sections, poop, amongst other things that are gross. It was a computer simulated video so it didn't show people getting epidurals inserted or sliced open for a section, but cartoon renditions still made Chip queasy. He had to turn and face the wall as not to watch and rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants. I'm surprised he didn't stick his fingers in his ears and start humming so he didn't have to hear about it. Poor babe, I know he'll do fine in delivery as long as he's on my right side and my IV is on the left side. He gets his medical / needle / blood fears from his mom. She could think or hear about something bloody and pass smooth out.
I feel better...mentally. I think Chip does too. We don't like surprises.

The second half of the class we toured the hospital. Chip and I had already toured months ago but went ahead anyway and did it again. Woman's hospital is so nice. The rooms are great, the people seem nice, and everything is state of the art. It got me really excited to birth this baby! I think it set in with Chip that this is going to happen soon! He was talking about how we needed to go ahead and pack bags (check), then he would think of things we needed to add to the bag that I hadn't thought of (can you imagine I forgot something on my list?) It made me even more excited that he was excited and thinking / talking about it.

After the hospital tour Chip suggested we head to Best Buy to look at cameras...both camcorders and digital cameras. We decided that maybe we should stick with purchasing a good digital camera and then later down the road purchase the camcorder. We are up for suggestions, pros, cons, loves, hates on your digital camera or camcorder to help in this process. You know we are big researchers and appreciate any feedback on what you use.

Since Chip will be unable to make it to next Monday's last child birthing class we went to Week 4 last night and can now consider us ready to birth a baby. This group was a more interactive group. The regular teacher was out, but the substitute was great! The teacher talked about caring for your baby, what to expect to happen to your baby from the first second to 6 hours to when you walk out the door of the hospital. We talked about after care for yourself once you've delivered and all the security measures they take to make sure your baby is safe from being snatched.

Evidentially baby snatching is a big deal. So, if you come to visit me do not be offended if the nurses refuse to let you hold or be left with my baby. Only Chip and I will have id bracelets that will match Hill's and we are the only two individuals that a nurse can leave the baby with. There is another bracelet on Hill's ankle that is an alarm. Any time that bracelet nears an exit or is tampered with the whole hospital sounds an alarm and is on lockdown. Then on top of that the nurses have photo id's they wear and a special color card with special markings to let you know that they really do work there and will take your baby to the nursery and not kidnap it.

Then once we covered all the ins and outs of baby care she showed us how to swaddle. Guess who got picked to practice in front of the class???

The best Daddy in the world!

Tuck those little hands in the flap.

He's doing so well!

Ta-Da!  A happy swaddled baby!

Even the teacher approved!

I'm so proud of Chip stepping up and learning and being such a big part in the process.  He plays such a vital role that I'm not sure what I'd do without him.  I consider myself very very lucky to have such a wonderful husband and I know he'll be the best Daddy ever.  You see...now this hormonal pregnant lady is tearing up!

As for Hill....I am anxious to go to the doctor on Monday afternoon.  He has dropped and according to the trusty ol' internet I have nothing to fear, I can still make it to my 40 weeks no problem.  Yet, according to wives tales I've been told I'll have him in 2 weeks and another lady informed me today that there will be a new moon on December 16th.  Not trying to rush the process, but just saying we are ready whenever as long as he is ready. 

Last night in class we had to pretend that we were having our baby right that second.  What had we not done?  We were to make a list.  Of course I had mine in my wallet so I didn't have to rewrite it.  Gah, I'm a nerd.  My list was minute things, like get a roll of quarters for the vending machine and a robe and call someone to take care of the dogs.  I have my call list, I have my insurance lined up, I have forms saved onto my flash drive for FMLA & short term disability.  As the lady would mention all of these big things I would tell Chip where they are how he can find the information, etc.  I guess I hadn't thought about informing him where everything was.  So, that was good.  He had not doubted for one second that I hadn't handled all that info already.  I was scared for the people that hadn't painted the room or put together their crib or even had a baby shower and no clothes or anything.  Frankly, I would be panicking.  Luckily, I don't have to panic.

Well I hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving.  We have many many things to be thankful for.  This has been a really hard yet exciting year wrapped into one for Chip and I.  We are thankful for every single person that reads this blog and has prayed and laughed and cried with us.  Friends and family are so important. 

As I leave you on that note of being thankful for friends and family, please keep The Marquerdt's in your thoughts and prayers as they bring Hill's prearranged best friend into the world, Steven Pearce Marquerdt.  Pearce and Hill have many adventures to endure and so do Marsha and I!  Her and her husband, Steven, had their 8th anniversary yesterday and then will be having a baby today!  What wonderful things to be thankful for!
Also, my mother is doing fantastic!  They found that her pelvis and something connected to it was out of line.  The physical therapist adjusted it back and gave her exercises to do and she'll be ready to come to MS soon!  Thank you all for your continual prayers!  They helped!

Football, Friends & Corndogs

Some of you know the story of the narrowing down of my colleges of choice and where was I going to go, but some of you don't.  I have to say this quietly for fear that my husband will hire snipers to shoot me down before entering the house. We all know why I chose Ole Miss per my post the other day, but another school at the top of my list was LSU.  Yes, I said it out loud....quietly, but out loud.

My mom went to LSU, my best friend was at LSU the same time I was at Ole Miss yet my dad seemingly had some type of paternal intuition.  Since he was paying the out of state tuition I kindly appeased his fear of my BAL being higher than my GPL.  That translates to my Blood Alcohol Level being higher than my Grade Point Level (GPA).  He said LSU was not an option. 

With that said, my dad kindly contributed monitarily to the freqent trips to Baton Rouge and New Orleans and Mardi Gras through out my college tenure so that I could see my best friend.  Mere and I had fun times.  In the process, some of her friends became my friends too!  They came up to visit me at Ole Miss once, but that was a crazy and they never came back.  Until this past weekend.  My LSU friend, Kelly came to watch the Rebels play the Tigers.  It was so good to see her.  It's truly been like 11 years, I swear.  She brought her little boy who is absolutely precious in his little Tiger costume.

I don't discriminate against my LSU people.  My two favorite people in the world, Meredith & my mom, have roots there.  I was even nice to the two LSU guys that sat in front of us at the game.  I had to remind my husband a couple of times that we were classy Rebel fans and to be nice.  He listened well, but I have to admit that there were 2 sets of Ole Miss people sitting around us that were absolutely obnoxious, they made us look like Alabama fans.  I gave one of them the evil eye letting her know she was being inappropriate and the other guy down the way I yelled at him! 

There is this running joke that LSU people smell like corndogs.  It is quite funny, but he was saying rude ugly things and giving us Ole Miss fans that actually went to school there a bad rap.  He was a huge snaggle toothed individual and so I told him he needed to lay off the corndogs.  Everyone laughed because everyone was so annoyed with the inconsiderate Ole Miss fans just as much as I was.  Gah, that gets on my nerves!  I'm not just saying that because I like LSU, I just think it's uncouth to display such a lack of respect!

So, as I go on my tirade about how ugly these people were I am being a hypocrite because I took some pretty funny pictures as I walked through the Grove.  At least these people weren't shouting inappropriate language with little kids around, they were having good ol' silly fun! 

I need to make a formal apology to my son. 

Dearest Hill,

Mommy is really really sorry about all the walking, jumping, yelling, cheering and screaming that you had to endure during the most phenominal game I've ever witnessed.  Had it not been for the yelling and cheering the Rebels may not have been able to pull through all the bad calls and pushing back of those mean ol' Tigers to the very last second!  I really thought you were going to come out right there in Vaught Hemingway stadium.  I'm glad you didn't because a) that would have been awkward and b) you need to incubate in there a little bit longer.  You can tell all of your friends when you get older that you witnessed the 2009 Ole Miss vs. LSU game.  You helped cheer them on to victory!  You really took one for the team and mommy and daddy and Papa really appreciate it.  Even though I know you and I both want to be there when we go to a bowl game, we can't be, so we had to cheer on our Rebs now and next weekend too.  Then we can rest.  You sure are a little trooper.  Again, mommy apologizes and you only have to endure one more weekend of Ole Miss football until you can go and cheer them on yourself next year!

Thank you for your understanding.  Now stay in there for 7 more weeks. 

Thanks,

Your Mother

Sunday morning when I woke up Hill was definately lower.  I think he's dropped.  He was probably so spazed out from Saturday that he is kicking around saying GET ME OUTTA THIS CRAZY LADY!  We had a talk and he said he'll stay in there a little longer.  Not sure how much longer though.

Approximately....

Is it just me or is the baby count down ticker on the right side of my blog being wishy washy.  I think it may know something I don't know.  It has always said,
"I am XX weeks pregnant.  Only XX days to go." 

Now it reads,

"I am XX weeks pregnant.  About XX days to go."

Why all of a sudden did it decide that it wants to be approximate?  I looked at my friend Susan's blog and her's still says "Only 8 days to go" and she's had her baby.  Then Christy has had her twins and given they were early, but we have the EXACT same ticker and her's still says "Only 24 days to go". 

Why me?  Why does it want to guesstimate as if to say, "Ahh, somewhere in the next 55 days you'll be having a baby."  What is your take on this random matter?

Healthy

First off, my mom is doing better. They released her from the hospital yesterday around 3:00 and prescribed physical therapy and pain meds. They think it is muscle related. Due to her immobility she is staying at my aunt’s house because she can't be alone. She's on the road to recovery, and I thank you for your prayers, but please don't stop them just yet!


In other happy healthy news, Sonic serves anything off of their menu at any time during the day. Why after 32 weeks of pregnancy am I just now figuring this out? I suppose I'm supposed to be ashamed of myself, but this morning I was starving for something with substance, not sweet, and didn't want your run of the mill drive thru breakfast. I wanted a hamburger and my daily fountain coke. Mmmmm....fountain coke just may be the best invention. Even more so than cars, electricity or bacon. That's how much I love them. Anyway, I didn't eat dinner last night because I lost track of time. This morning Hill wanted dinner. I couldn't fault him for that because I had obviously deprived him of it.

I'd never been to Sonic in the morning time, but I figured I could at least get a good fountain coke. I pulled into the cool side of Sonic and there was a lady cleaning the windows. I asked her if they served hamburgers this early in the morning. She said we serve anything on the menu all day, every day. Shut your mouth! How fantastic! So I did the appropriate motherly thing and fed him a hamburger and fries at 8:00 am. Oh yea, and got a 44 oz Cherry Vanilla Coke.

I should video my stomach right now...he is flipping out everywhere!  He either really loved it more than anything in the entire world or he is super mad that I gave him a hamburger and fries for breakfast.  I vote that he loved it because it sure was fantastic.  Here is a picture of it's fabulousness....

I opted out for the onions.  I really don't eat onions on anything but Sonic hamburgers .... weird I know.  The other day Chip and I got the brown bag and I got onions on my burger.  For those of you that know my husband understand the capacity in which he hates onions, lettuce or ketchup.  It's like bad.  So bad that I have to go to the back patio to enjoy my lunch in peace.  If I don't, it's the whole...GAH, that stinks! OMG, I'm going to be sick!  PEEWWW, that is awful!  Or my favorite, where he sits at the table with me but turns his back to me and pulls his food closer to him as if my food was rabid and going to attack his food and make it nasty.  He's so weird. 
 
So anyway, I opted out for the onions because he made really self conscious the other day.  I got the onions on my hamburger and ate outside like the nice considerate wife I am.  I came back inside after I finished eating and still got the whole OMG, it smells like onions in here!  I went and washed my hands with the vibrant smell good soap in the guest bathroom as to maybe mask the smell then walked back through the living room.  GAH, those onions stink!  As if I had stepped in a pile of onions and it was on my shoe like dog poo or something?  I asked what I could do in the middle of a PEEWWW that is awful and he suggested I take a shower.  I didn't go to that extreme because he was being ridiculous, but I did end up changing my clothes because for some reason he thought they were tainted.  That is what I have to put up with.  So even though Chip would not be at my work today to critique my onion smell, I decided against onions at 8am for my coworkers sake.

Chip can always tell when I am pissy at him because I'll eat something with a ton of ketchup.  I love ketchup, but under normal circumstances not enough to provoke the dramatic above mentioned scene that sets off gag reflexes and a holy moley the smell is infecting my clean air intake, I'm going to suffocate routine.  One time I was mad at him about something and was eating ketchup and he walked by and said, I notice you aren't as sensitive to my needs as you once were.  I laughed so hard....on the inside of course.  I'm evil.

Once Hill comes we will have to make Daddy eat outside on the patio as we enjoy our foods he hates.  I will throw myself in front of on coming traffic to make sure my little boy does NOT inherit his father's eating habits.  If he does, I will sell tickets at the door to the Drama Queen Routine at the Hawkins house.  Then you can pray over me after each show or just go ahead and take me to the looney bin.

Occupy my mind.....

Update on my mom.  I was able to talk to her last night.  She was really groggy and of course worried about me...she is so selfless.  She has enough pain meds in her that she should be in a coma, but the pain is still there. They can't figure out what is triggering the pain.  They will do an MRI today to check for fractured discs, and see if there is anything abnormal going on.  Thank you for the prayers and please continue them. 

Last night I tried to be productive to keep my mind occupied.  I was able to actually sit down and go through the checklist of what I need to take and pack for the hospital.  I had purchased things I knew I needed, but I hadn't put them in a bag yet.  Thanks to my friend Jennifer that sent me a list of what to pack and how to pack it we should be in good shape.  There are still a few things I need like batteries for the camera, a robe, rolls of quarters, and playing cards (phase 10 / uno).  I have to figure out what outfit I want to wear home and pick up an extra bag of dogfood so I know the pups are taken care of.

As suggested, I have seperate bags so as things happen there will be seperate bags for specific needs.  We won't have to carry everything in all at once.  I thought that was a fantastic idea!

I have a labor bag that is to help pass the time - it has magazines, notepad, pens, chapstick, new socks, lotion,  germ-ex, ponytail holders, elastic ouchless headbands and a brush (I must be really worried about my hair??).

Then I have a sack full of snacks for my family.  Since I am anal and did this so early, I did check to make sure the food doesn't expire before January 14th. Thank you very much!  It has peanut M&M's, snack bags of cookies and crackers, Cheese crackers (aka Nabs), nutri-grain bars, sugar free lifesaver swirls, sugar free wint-o-green mints, big bag of regular wint-o-green mints (Chip's ultimate favorite).  There are other things, I just can't think of them....I really only think about the peanut M&M's....every day.  But we are forbidden to open anything!

Then there is my overnight bag.  Growing up with divorced parents, doing the every other weekend thing the majority of my life made me a good packer.  I can make more travel like less.  I have 2 sets of pj's with button up tops and pants and one gown.  I have panties (of course), more new socks, and slippers.  I do have to get this sleep bra that is seemingly all the rage and a necessity.  I also brought a box of thank you notes. (I know I'm a geek) Then bathroom bag is filled to the top.  It may actually be rediculous.  I have enough toothbrushes for the whole east wing of the hospital. I have toothpaste, soap & body wash, shampoo & conditioner, shout stain wipes??, mouthwash, boobie cream, dental floss, wipes, razors, deoderant, and other stuff that we just MAY need. 

On top of these bags (which are all sitting in the car seat) is a list that says make-up, hair dryer, cell  phone chargers and then where to find them.  There is also another asterik that says - call dog sitters.  Can't forget about my four legged babies during all of this!

Ok, so we have the labor bag, the snack bag, and the overnight / necessity bag.  Then there is Hill's bag.  I packed Hill's bag and it pretty much has like 6 outfits because I don't know how big he'll be, 3 blankets, socks, and hats.  Everything is washed and ready.

All we have left is Chip's bag.  He is in charge of making sure he has what he needs clothes and panty wise. I have taken care of toiletries. 

I know it sounds like I'm packing up everything but the kitchen sink.  I just may be!  Yet my train of thought is that all of this can sit in my SUV that has plenty of room and never be used....but if I need it - it is there.  Sort of like our Coleman chairs, they sit in the back of my car 24-7 so we are prepared to tailgate, sit around a campfire or visit on a friends patio at any given moment.

Also, I have made a list of Names & Numbers & Log Ins.....per my smart hubby's request.  He must have learned this in his birthing partner group.  I have the clinic number, the hospital number, then family members numbers, friends numbers and log in information to my blog and my facebook.  This list also has my social security number on it as well as my Med Key # for the hospital....that number houses all my pre registration insurance information in the hospitals system.  Nifty huh?

I do have on my list of things to still get together - my laptop.  If you guys can think of anything I've left off please let me know!! I'd hate to do without! 

Ok, I'm ready to have a baby.  He needs to stay in there a little longer and grow, but I'm ready whenever he is!  I think.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Ummm.....I'm having a baby.  That is weird.

Special Request

You know I never ask for special prayer unless it's really necessary.

Please pray for my mom.  She is in the hospital with severe back pains.  Please pray that all is well and that the doctors can figure out what is wrong.  Pray for her pain to subside and for her to have a healthy speedy recovery.

I selfishly ask for you to pray for me as I sit here 700 miles away trying to be strong.  She is my strength.  It's hard not being there to hold her hand or see her or talk to her.

I know my brother and my aunt are there with her and that makes my heart rest a little easier, but I can't help but worry.  I learned today in my Bible study that worry was a sin.  I just need to turn it over to the Lord.  I ask you to pray that all of our worries subside and we hand them over to Him.

Donuts, Doctors & My Birthing Partner

This is the breakfast of champions

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.....Don't let the name deter you. If you have not had the privilege of trying K&S's cinnamon nuggets you have not had the best breakfast in Attala County. It may be because I'm pregnant, it may be because my husband is having sympathy pains, but we think they are truly a two bite piece of heaven. Wash that down with a cold cold chocolate milk....yum!


Disclaimer: K&S does not pay me to say this, even though they could give me a life time supply of cinnamon nuggets and chocolate milk.

Now that we've started our day off right with a sugary sweet breakfast we can move on to yesterday’s doctor’s appointment. All is well on the belly front. Dr. North didn't see me in my skivvies (as my grandmother would call panties.) He may have seen how abnormally high they came up because he had to measure my belly and listen to the heartbeat (145 bpm)...but he didn't say anything about it.

I asked his nurse, Toni, when my next "exam" was because I had to make sure I shaved my legs. She thinks it is so funny that I worry about that stuff because she said they don't even notice. She said it wouldn't be until 36 weeks. So I have a few weeks before my legs get shaved again. That's one less thing to worry about.

I go back in two weeks....no sonogram. Dr. North said I'm doing so well I may not have another sonogram. I called him mean, he laughed, I told him we were in a fight, he left. Then I saw him again in the hall and he was laughing and told me I'd have another sonogram some time. I told him that if that was the case, he wasn't mean, I take it back. We are on speaking terms now.

I did get my H1N1 vaccine. So I hope to not get the swine flu. I hope that my baby will be ok. I don't like the unknowing, but the statistics show that 1/3 of pregnant women that contract the swine flu die. Those are stats we aren't comfortable gambling with. Given, I'll be the first to admit that 40% of all statistics are made up anyway.

So onto, what you've all been waiting so patiently to hear about for a full week. Night 2 of the birthing class.

Night 2 was wonderful for me. I didn't have to do a whole lot. The focus was for the birthing partner....that would be Chip. He prefers to simply be known as the birthing partner now.

We watched an educational video on labor / contractions and what to do, and then the teacher divided the birthing partners into 4 groups. Chip was in group one. I just sat in my seat and played on my phone like the nerd I am. Every now and then I could hear Chip laughing in the corner with his group getting a kick out of himself. Their task was to make a list of things they could do as the birthing partner to make things easier for the mommy during labor. At one point I heard him say, "She'll know I suggested that one." I didn't even look up....I just shook my head to wait the unknowing. Being married to Chip, you just never...ever...know.

So the groups were finished and Chip came and sat back down with me and someone from their group read their list. What the birthing partner can do to help.

1) play soothing music
2) massage
3) breathing techniques
4) Be a table.......I knew Chip said that one....it was in the movie we watched. The couple was walking down the hospital corridor and the lady wanted to bend over and rest....so the man got on all 4's (like a dog) and let her lean over him. We died laughing (we Chip and I being the only ones laughing)......I asked Chip if he'd be my table and he said No.
5) Have a list of people to call
6) Call the hospital to let them know you are coming
7) Update her facebook status for her........again - I knew Chip had said that one. He was grinning ear to ear and so hysterically proud of himself. He cracks me up.

The list went on and on. Those are the ones I remember. Then the second half of the class the birthing partners sat on the floor and massaged our backs. Chip immediately said...ummm, do you think Tasha would come and massage you? For those of you that don't know, my friend Tasha has missed her calling. She gives the best massages known to man. Anyway, I made Chip learn anyway. There were all kinds of creative tools the teacher had for massaging and relaxing- of course there were the hands and rubbing along side the spine and the neck, a pool noodle cut into 1/4 to roll everywhere (that feels great!), a coke can that has been refrigerated for coldness, a sock full of rice (heated in microwave) as heating pad.

Let’s rewind....about 7 months ago when I had just found out I was pregnant my lower back was KILLING me. Chip is not a good massager. Well he is, but he won't do it right for fear I'll like it and make him do it all the time. So, I would beg him to rub my back. He would for like 2.5 seconds then whine that his hands were tired. So he incorporated the can of beans. The can of beans was his invention, his trick, his cure all. He would roll the grocery store bought can of beans up and down my back to save his poor tired hands. It hurt, but I couldn't figure out if it was a good hurt or not. So I let him continue. The next day it was as if every bone, ligament and muscle in my back had been run through the shredder. I hate the can of beans. I've never let him use it again.

So with that said, when the teacher busted out all this creative stuff like coke cans and rice then Chip turned to me and said...I told you the beans were a great idea! All we needed was his can of beans and after labor we could eat a full meal! Lord bless his soul. Or maybe I should say, Lord bless MY soul!

What am I going to do with him?

Comfort & Joy....and Earthquakes

Weird post title huh?
I bring you tidings of comfort and joy...and a little bit of embarrassment. What else do you expect from me?
I do mean Christmas tidings, just not in the same sense as you all do.

You see if you knew my mother in law she was all about nick names. Everything had a sub name like those dark hairs that randomly come up on your chin or neck, they are called Hilda Goats. She called earrings the old name of ear bobs and then panties, step in's. My mom even uses funny things like calling gas stations u totems. Those silly ladies!

Yet, there are some others that Adrienne probably wasn't as open to talk about.......like I am. For example, Christmas. Christmas, I assume, is a term that was probably coined when Jane Claire and Chip were babies. It is still used around our house and I have adopted it and will probably carry it on over to Hill. Most parents use generic names for Christmas, not the Hawkins. Don't be confused because this 'Christmas' isn't why we are all setting trees up, buying gifts for, celebrating Jesus' birthday, or making fruit cakes. I was so confused when I first heard them say something about their Christmas. What are they talking about???

Christmas may be known around your house as privates, wee wee, tt, boo boo, amongst other silly onomatopoeias.

Rachel, why are you talking about this in public? Aaahhhhhgggg! The embarrassment, these people will never think of Christmas the same! I've ruined it!

So I mention all of this to further explain the inside humor of my post title in the spirit of 'Christmas' - "comfort and joy." I am experiencing comfort and joy because I got new "step ins" this weekend. I figured it was time, I have a doctor’s appointment today and after my last unannounced exam I didn't want to embarrass my husband again by wearing holey granny panties. Now I am embarrassing myself because my goodness these that I bought are ginormous! Dr. North will think there is a circus going on! They are a tent! Shooo, I just though I had been wearing granny panties before! Look out Grandma Moses!

Not that you all care, but this is my blog and I am talking, I usually buy the high cut briefs. They provide me with the big bootie coverage I need and don't stick out the back of my pants. BUT THIS TIME.....I opted out of the high cut and got the regular kind in an unheard of size that I had to probably pay $1 extra per X, but they promised no wedgies and I was sold. Sign me up twice! Well, today I put them on for the first time. I cracked up laughing as I looked in the mirror. Whoa! Call Playboy, we've got a cover model! It was a sight, even Chip laughed. Not only do they 'fully' cover my 31 week pregnant belly, my ghetto bootie and my child bearing hips (and stick out the back of my pants)....they could be used to help put out kitchen fires...possibly forest fires, they could help you sail around the world, you could rake leaves into them to carry out to the road, you could use them as a blanket on a cold night amongst other helpful things that other panties may not do.

With all this panty bashing, I have to say I am experiencing extreme comfort & joy. You will never look at me the same, and I'm ok with that. This may just be a temporary pregnancy thing, but it may not. If you see my panties sticking out the back of my pants come February or March......you'll have your answer.

So I wish you all 'Christmas' tiding of comfort & joy!

Then, the earthquake part of my title is in my belly. Even lying in bed on my left side this morning it's as if Hill was sky diving from my right side and landing full force on my left side with a HUGE ker plunk. I think the bed moved a couple of times from him running around. This child of mine might be a sumo wrestler, King Kong, a ninja, or a hurdle jumper. As I've said before, he's probably not going to be athletic when he gets out of my tum tum, but in the mean time he certainly wins the Olympic title in all of the above categories.

He may be a drummer. I did notice as the band played (not Dixie) at the football game Saturday, Hill sure was into the music. He is his fathers’ son being into all types of music and his grandfather, the drummers, grandchild. Maybe I'll get Charlie to play for us and see what he does.

So glad you all came to get up close and personal with me this fabulous Monday morning. You never ever know what words my fingers will type, what hilarious things have gone on since my last post, what goes on in this weird little head of mine. Leave it to me to say it out here, to you, publicly.

Remember tonight is Monday Night Child Birthing Class! I hope to have great stories about it!

Photos to help you understand....

why my blog is titled

No Really...This Is My Life

Here are a few random photos that sum it all up.

This is a redneck. 

He took the lawnmower to the carwash to shine er' up!

Oh wait, that's my husband.

Then we have the Bama fan mullet. 

Total business in the front and a serious throw down frizz party in the back.

We did the whole non-chilant, 'Oh Honey take a picture of me

standing here in the parking lot' trick in order to capture the mullett lady

Then when Chip is home from work and school and I have to lug my large pregnant self

out of bed each morning to go to work this is what I have to leave.

How is that fair?

Then of course you have Foster, the wanna be lap dog.

 He climbs in the recliner to sit with you.

There's not much you can do about it either.

It's always a game of hide and seek at the Hawkins residence.

When you put the dishes away you never know what you will find lurking in the cabinets.

Do these photos help you get an idea of what type of

every day activities go on in my hilarious life?

NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

Hill's Things

Here is a hodge podge of things in Hill's room.

This table is the most recent purchase. It sits next to his changing table/dresser.
The drawers holds his extra diaper rash cream,
his brush, thermometer, bibs, blankets and sheets.
On top is the wipe warmer and diapers.
And not to forget - the Diaper Genie to the left


This is the full picture of his changing table / dresser area.  It was Chip's when he was a baby. To the left on the floor we have a cute basket from Jennifer & Shea that was filled with goodies and will now sub as a laundry basket.

This is his crib.  Looking at it now, I'm thinking I need to press the dust ruffle and then put it on.  Pardon all his "fun things" to the left of his crib.  He hasn't even arrived and we are searching for places to put seats and swings, etc. It's a nice problem to have.We don't complain.

This is our second most recent purchase. It's a dark photo, but you can see it's The Chair.  This is where his Mama Lou, Sassy, and all the other volunteer rockers will sit and rock him.  The cabinet to the bottom right is a built in and I need to find a cute fabric to hang across there so it's not so "open."  The built in houses his extra diapers, wipes and everything else I shove in there because it doesn't have a home.

I am not finished with his room.......almost, but not quite.  I still have to enlist a few creative artists and seamstresses because the full bed (not pictured) needs pillows and his walls are 90% naked.  We can't have naked walls!  Then of course there is his bathroom.  I haven't started on it yet, but it just needs a few accesories, I'm not worried about it though.

Please feel free to come play in his room any time you'd like.  I go in there like every day and move blankets around or reorganize a drawer...sometimes the dogs and I just go and lay in the big bed and look around.  It's so fun!

Joke of the day....

Two pregnant ladies walk into an ice cream shop.

Evidently that is a hilarious joke in itself. I thought it was and seemingly everyone at the Baskin Robbins thought so too.

JJ and I went to eat Mexican food for dinner and even though we were stuffed we HAD to have something sweet. It's dramatically crazy how alike our pregnancies are.

So we head to the Baskin Robbins and were the only ones in there, which was great being that we are both extremely indecisive, so it takes us a minute to narrow down what we want since everything sounds fantastic. The ladies working there guessed immediately that I was having a boy. She said it was because my belly sticks straight out. How did she know it wasn't the 39807632 chips and dip I ate before my dinner even arrived? They also knew we were due on pretty much the same day. How do they know these things?

Anyway, so this guy comes in and we wave him on to go ahead since we want everything. He orders and they make his milkshake. Now there are 2 other people in line. He gets his shake and they ask him if there is anything else he needs. He said, well there is, but let these two ladies go if they know what they want now. How sweet. He must have a wife that was once pregnant. Now there are 3 other people in line. I decide I want the brownie with two scoops, one chocolate scoop one cherry jubilee scoop with hot fudge, whip cream and M&M's. YUM! So I get my mound of love to induce me into a coma and go sit down and wait for JJ. Evidently everything that JJ wanted they were out of, but later found the stuff to make her a snickers sundae. Again, YUM!

So there I sit. I can't not eat my decadent mound of love, it may melt - so I dig in. It is so yummy I find myself dancing. You know, when you like something you do the little uncontrollable happy bop in your seat. Half the time you don't even know you are doing it. Chip always calls me out on it. Then JJ gets her stuff and pays, it's like everyone in there was so cooperative and understanding and nice like we had this incurable disease that's only remedy was ice cream. When we were leaving even the janitor told us to enjoy our ice cream.

And enjoy it I did. It was fabulous and now I am so sickly full I am going to bed. Nite Nite.

Historical Impressions

I'll always remember my first trip to Mississippi, it was the spring of 1997. I was graduating from high school that year and had applied to various schools. My brother suggested I send in my application to Ole Miss. Who is Ole Miss? What is Ole Miss? The only thing I knew was that my brother played football for Ole Miss briefly and although he transferred back to a school in Texas to graduate there was obviously something special that this place left in his heart. Either he wanted me 700 miles away from home or he truly thought it was a place I needed to experience and make my own. Either way, applying is one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.

My mom, my brother and I went to scope it out...we drove. It was far. The only thing I remember about the trip, other than being long, was making a comment my mom always reminds me of. As we drove up I-55 we passed this sign that said Kosciusko next right. I said, Koz-chi-u-sko....what the hell is that? Little did I know within the next 10 years it would be my home!

So we arrived into Oxford. It was night time and we were tired. My first 5 second impression of the town was that it was just alright, small (this was before the west side was developed as you enter town.)

The next morning we headed to the University. This would be my first time setting foot on campus, I still remember that moment all these years later - it was magical. It was lush green, well manicured with gorgeous bright colored tulips everywhere. You could tell the people that took care of this place really cared about it, they took pride in what they have. The air was so pure and fresh that I'm not sure I'd ever felt so alive. It could have been that it was a refreshing change from the 110% humidity of Texas. It doesn't matter what it was, it was memorable.

As we walked the campus it was as if the beautiful old buildings and architecture wanted me to stop and admire it, like it wanted to tell me a story about it's history. I couldn't help but be hypnotized by the beauty, the history, and the tradition this campus exuded. Every person we passed on the sidewalk said hello, all the people were smiling, friends were playing Frisbee in the Grove or having a picnic. It was a fantasy land, it was magical, happy, almost staged. It was surely something I wanted to be a part of and I hadn't even had the opportunity to talk to anyone about the academics. All of this was my first impression.

It started once I was accepted, I was in Texas putting the sticker on my car and sporting my new college t-shirts everyday. I was cool. People would say, what is O'le (Oh-le) Miss? I guess growing up in a highly populated Hispanic area / state they would read Ole as O'le. It was a little frustrating, but I didn't mind because I knew something they didn't. I knew about this magical place that I was going to be able to share about with everyone that didn't know.

A year and half after my initial visit and acceptance I was able to come back to Mississippi. I had been in Ecuador for a year following my high school graduation. I had no idea what tradition, history and pride was until August 1998. I came to a new foreign land, Mississippi, where I was to be taught about the true meaning of tradition. A place where not only would my education could carry me far in life, but the experiences and lessons learned would carry me even further.

My eyes were opened, I learned about the history, triumphs, and tragedy that the state and University had endured. I wasn't brought up in prejudice, I didn't understand the black and white of everything. It appalled me. The most important thing was that it was overcome. The University now stands on the grounds that diversity is key. Diversity, this one word is what prompted my post.

The University has a new Chancellor. I have not had the opportunity to research his back ground nor have I met him, so therefore I am unable to comment on him as a person. He has very large shoes to fill succeeding Chancellor Khayat. This week the new Chancellor decided that the traditional un-official fight song of 'Dixie' be banned from football games and not associated with Ole Miss anymore. Fans sing out that "The South will rise again."

Let's get literal for a moment, do you really think that the current students born in the 1990's truly know, sing or mean this as an offensive chant? Even still, their parents that were born in the 1960's didn't endure the 1962 integration of James Meredith to the University of Mississippi. The generation before them did. This generation of alumni is now the University's largest monetary supporters. Even over 40 years after integration they continue to love Ole Miss not because of any racial reasons, but because of the tradition, experiences, family, and sense of pride that they feel. They support Ole Miss because every time they return to Oxford it's a replay of their first stepping foot on campus, it's a sense of ownership.

I was saddened when all the hoopla about Colonel Reb came about. I was not there in 1995 when they banned the Confederate flags. I am however savvy enough to research the history of both Colonel Reb and the flag. Colonel Reb was originally patterned after a blind black man that that was a huge football fan. Did you know that? I personally think it was respectful to him. As for the confederate flag, history proves that this was a battle flag, a flag in a war that blacks fought in too.

Why do we still have to make these things so black and white? I see these things as red and blue. I think by taking away the song 'Dixie' - a song that was written in the 1850's by a Northerner who allegedly collaborated with two black musicians to originate. This is a song admired by the President that abolished slavery.

On 10 April 1865, one day after the surrender of General Robert E. Lee, Lincoln addressed a White House crowd:
I propose now closing up by requesting you play a certain piece of music or a tune. I thought "Dixie" one of the best tunes I ever heard . . . I had heard that our adversaries over the way had attempted to appropriate it. I insisted yesterday that we had fairly captured it . . . I presented the question to the Attorney-General, and he gave his opinion that it is our lawful prize .

We should embrace this song. When we say that "the South will rise again" to me in current culture means that we've overcome this feudal past. We rise above all the hatred, close mindedness and energy wasted removing the traditions that are too often misconstrued. The close mindedness if you will.

Being from Texas, I once was asked by a Mississippian if we really ride horses everywhere. My response to show his ignorance was that I was really surprised that he as a Mississippian had running water, electricity and shoes on his feet. Perception and interpretation is what you make of things. If you want to see that Ole Miss stands for racial bigotry, a group of close minded people stuck in old ways holding a grudge against change, so be it. Yet you, my comrade, are the one that hasn't stepped foot on campus. You are the individual that deserves to taste the fresh air an campus that brings you to life. You should allow yourself to let the history ridden walls of the University talk to you. You have not experienced pride, tradition, and history. As hard as it may be to hear you should probably open your eyes to realize maybe you are the problem.

As with all aspects of life you can see the good and bad in everything. I choose to be open minded and educated on facts before I form an opinion. I'm the big picture type of person. We can always try to agree to disagree as hard as it may be.

Dixie might be taken away, briefly or for forever from future Ole Miss fans and alum but the tradition and pride is still in all of us. We won't be able to 'Look away!' from what we know and hold dear to our hearts, nor should we have to.

Hotty Toddy.

Child Birth Class - Night 1

So my super supportive husband humored me and attended the child birthing class up at the hospital. I had no idea what to expect from him or the class. There were a ton of people there and we met a lot of nice couples. We had to introduce ourselves in front of the whole class and say our name, profession, due date, fun fact and/or fear.

We were one of the last to go so we just reiterated a lot of the same fears as everyone else. Snakes, saying something you shouldn't to someone during labor, crazy dreams (like my last post) coming true. Our teacher was a huge Florida football fan and so Chip's fun fact was that our team (Ole Miss) was the last team to beat Florida.

One of the funniest fears was the last guy sitting behind us. His fear was of his wife. Chip and I died, it was hilarious. Later that night someone came up to that guy and asked him if anyone ever told him he looked like Brendan Fraser. So being that he was behind me, I hadn't seen him, so I turn around to take a look and as he's responding that he usually gets told that he looks like - - - and I interrupted Harry Connick Jr. My goodness this guy was his twin brother. Super hottie. I mean I know I'm not suppose to think that being that he's there with his pregnant wife and I'm there pregnant with my husband but my my he was a cutie....his wife was too.

We met another couple, The Harkins. She is due with a little boy the day after me and so we hope they don't switch our babies in the hospital. She is to deliver at River Oaks and I at Women's but she said if River Oaks is full that day they told her she'd go to Women's. I'm pretty sure that we'll be able to tell our babies apart. I think that my baby might come out as big as she is. She was as big as my pinky toe...tiny little girl. She was all belly.

Then there was the mother of all mothers...she sat across the room, but everyone could not believe her story. She came in with her mom who admitted that she was not even 50 yet. I would say the pregnant daughter was maybe 19 or 20. She is due SUNDAY and just found out she was pregnant at 35 weeks! Ok, so let me repeat that. She found out she was pregnant 4 weeks ago.

You know that show "I didn't know I was pregnant" that comes on the Discovery or Science Channel at like 11:00 pm sometimes. I always think those girls are weird....how could you not know?!?! I guess every one is different? But really.....this girl walked into the room and even I knew she was pregnant like big pregnant. Not just because we were in a child birthing class. I don't get it.

So anyway, Chip was well behaved. Sort of. They were talking about when your water breaks and the things you need to notice. It's called the COAT method.
C - Color
O - Odor
A - Amount
then before she came out to say the 'T', Chip turns to me and said.......Taste? Oh man, I lost it. I was laughing so hard I almost had to get up and leave. I had tears running down my face. I was just picturing someone grotesquely tasting the water that broke making sure it was either urine or amniotic fluid. But alas, the 'T' was Timing.

Then the teacher (who is due with her 3rd child on January 7th) had a guy come up to the front and put on a backpack, that faced forward. There were items that she put in there like a sack of flour, corn meal, bottled water, dry beans, big can of beans, rice, and some other stuff. Each one represented something whether it be amniotic fluid weight, breast tissue weight, placenta weight, extra blood weight...etc. It totaled 27lbs. She said this is on average what we gain being pregnant. I turned to Chip and said...well, that makes me feel better. Chip, before thinking, said but not everyone is the same and it may not all be that each item weighs that much. I said, well my items weigh that much and it makes me feel better thinking that. I then concluded our converstation with a sarcastic...Ass.

The teacher invited all the Dads to come up there and try it on at break. I made Chip and he tried to play it off like...pssshhaa I carry that many books around every day. But so soon he forgets that he doesn't sleep with these books on his back or much less his front - nor with his books being on his back does it make it hard for him to do simple tasks like tie your shoes or put on your "step ins" as my mother in law would say. He's a punk.

We watched a birthing video. Yes, THE real live birthing video. My lady privates hurt after I watched it and after looking at the dilation chart. I'm pretty sure that if they could just put me into a coma at the first contraction that would be superb. Wake me up when it's over, please. Thanks.

After class we got in the car and did what we do best. Make up stories. We started to make up stories about some of the couples and how they met and of course there is always the token Alabama fan in the crowd adorned with the 'A' hat. Chip thinks that his fiance is really his cousin. He made up this huge elaborate story with town names and everything. We like to pretend. Most people don't know that about Chip and I, we love to make up songs and pretend we know about peoples lives. It comes from my family. We are weird like that. If only you were a fly on the wall at the Hawkins house. You'd never leave the same. Our poor kid. He doesn't stand a chance.

Stay tuned next Monday for Night 2. We have to bring pillows.....should be interesting.

Reminder

I just wanted to share a quick thought with you.....

Don't let the possiblities of your future rob you of your present.

We all need this reminder every now and then.

I need to remember this as I let things overwhelm me. It's the whole 'what if' scenario that robs us of enjoying the blessings we have.

Don't let it be that we are so caught up in work or whatever it is we are doing that we forget the important things and moments that matter most, that will or won't always be there.

I encourage you to take a few steps back and evaluate yourself today. How can you put more positives and happy things in your life and how can we learn to not take people, situations, moments and experiences for granted?

I leave you with this happy you all have been waiting for. Pictures of my friend Christy and her new family. Thank you so much for your continual prayers for my people.

Lazy Weekend

This is what we did all weekend

Friday night we grilled sausage and Chip & I hung out on the patio at the house.

Foxy Mama slept on her pillow.

Saturday we watched the Ole Miss game and boiled shrimp at the house.

Foster slept on his chase lounge

Sunday I did not move off of my couch. I don't think I've ever done that. A whole big beautiful day of nothing. I can't even tell you what I did or what I watched on TV. Well I can tell you I played 'Words With Friends' on my phone all day like the big ol' nerd I am. I guess if my friends were playing too then that makes them nerds as well.

Katie made a pillow fort and crashed.

A shout out to my friends Susan and Daniel that had a beautiful baby boy Sullivan Alexander on Sunday at 2am. He weighed 6lbs 8 oz and was 17 inches long. Mama and baby are doing great and daddy is grinning from ear to ear.

It's the human nature to compare. Susan was 37 weeks. That means if I were Susan then my baby will be here in 6 weeks. Ummm...6 weeks. Like I don't even get my hair colored every six weeks....or shave my legs. I don't water my plants or clean my toilets that often either. 6 weeks might as well be tomorrow...I'd prefer he wait though.

Tonight is our first child birthing class. I'm sort of nervous. I hope to learn a lot. Chip will be there and he's smart. He'll absorb the info and me and my awful pregnancy brain will probably forget everything. I don't think anyone explained to me how absent minded you become when you are pregnant. All I hear now are moms saying..."and Honey, it doesn't get any better after the baby comes." Really? I thought you all were my friends. It's a pretty important sliver of info you forgot to mention. You are suppose to tell me that when you are with child half of your brain shrivels up into a raisin. You start shifting your head to the side and blurting out obscenities while coloring on the wall. Ok, so it's not that bad, but honestly I was a smart person before the baby took my brain. I sure hope he's a freaking genius. I will be disappointed if he's not.

On top of my empty headedness I've started to have crazy dreams. I had a dream Saturday night that the baby was coming out...like I could feel the top of his head down there coming out and no one would believe me or take me to the hospital. I can't remember what happened (or how I was walking), but I think I probably ended up driving myself. I guess since I panicked when I woke up....that's the decision I made if that were to really happen- - I'd just drive myself.

Feeding my baby

When I got my hospital registration packet there was a list of classes that expectant parents could take. Of course being the pre planner nerd freak of nature organizer I am signed up for all of them.

Last night was the first class I signed up for. I met JJ up at Woman's Hospital so we could learn how to feed the babies. It was a 2 hour class on breastfeeding. I didn't know much about breastfeeding but by darned I was gonna learn about it to decide if it's something I'm interested in doing. I'm new at this stuff, I must weigh the pros and cons - It's the just thing to do....and the even though everything on the Internet we read is true, it doesn't provide me all the knowledge I need to know. (haha)

All I knew was it's good for the baby and it's cheaper on the pocket book. Sounds good.
My fears were more or less selfish and not so much geared towards the baby. Whatever, I gotta think about me during this time too, right?

Anyway, there were a TON of people there and they had all researched beyond comprehension and were seemingly there more or less for affirmation of what they've read. I felt dumb.

"Hi. My name is Rachel and I'm here today to figure out if it's worth saving money on food for my baby and having my body metabolize faster to lose baby weight." No, not really, but that's how I felt. It should have been "Hi. My name is Rachel and I'm interested in helping my baby have a higher IQ and build a strong immune system."

All in all the class was really informative. There were a lot of very well educated ladies that brought up way too many things that I'd never thought of. So that was good....overwhelming, but good.

My friend, The Janii, or who I consider the ultimate super mom and epitome of all things good and wonderful, sent me this book (and adorable outfit) early in my pregnancy that I am EXTREMELY excited about.

I went out the next day and bought an industrial sized food processor to make all this fab food. There are real people recipes in there that you can make for the whole family then just puree for the kiddo. I'm excited to venture out and try this.

As for the other classes, the next one should be interesting. It is a 4 week Child birth class (every Monday.) I have enlisted Chip to go with me. His buddy asked that I take pictures of him learning the breathing techniques. I won't do that to my Chippy, he's been a sport by not putting up a fuss when I ask him to do things. I don't really ask much of him though.

This weekend we have a friend coming to town and staying with us. The infamous 'Hambone' aka Al Bell's protege. If you are attending Toy's wedding then please take a moment to introduce yourself to the 'Bone.' You can't mistake him....I'm sure he'll be dressed just like Al. His real name is Jason...you can call him Hambone or Bone...he probably even responds to Al.


In other news that is exciting to no other human but me, Hill's room is coming together nicely. Yesterday I picked up a changing pad and cover at Babies R Us. I don't know why but purchasing that one item felt like a weight had been lifted. Today I will pick up my chair and ottoman. Then there are only about 4 or 5 other things I need in order to feel better about my to do list.


I will work on completing the hospital bags this weekend and then move onto finding cute towels and a shower curtain for his bathroom and adding a few cosmetic touches to his bedroom (pillows, things for the wall and a side table.)


Someone please tell me once I get my to do list completed I can finally relax?!? I like this nesting thing because I love the feeling of productivity, but I just need to see an end in sight. Does it ever end?

Big Brother Foster

Foster may be having a little difficulty adjusting to the fact that he won't be the baby boy of the house anymore. Last night I was bringing all the things from Hill's room that needed to be washed into the laundry room and this is what I found.

First he sat on what he wanted to claim as his.

Then as the piles of blankets, towels, clothes, sheets & car seat covers started to mound he would make room to lay on everything.

Look at that sweet face!

I don't think Foster is claiming Hill's things

(maybe his stuffed animals.)

He is just ready for Hill to get here so he can be his best friend.

Our four legged babies are going to be the best big brother and sisters around!

Katie Lou vs. The Roomba

Ok ladies and gentlemen here you have it. The Roomba in action - - in my kitchen.

I doubt you will ever find this thing as amusing as I do, but I caught this on video and I panicked a little at first when it went under the stove but then the final result was hilarious! So glad I caught this on video.

For those of you that know my Katie Goose, she rules the roost and this crazy robot thing has her a little perplexed.

Full of...

I'm full of...........information today. What did you think I was going to say?

Anyway, I want to give you all an update on my friend Christy. She had her twins Molly and Joey. Babies are doing great. Christy hopes to post pictures soon, which in turn I will steal and link you to them. Can't wait! Yet, we have to keep the celebrations to a minimum until Christy can get a good report.

Christy has a sub durmal hematoma. Somehow when doing the spinal the hole didn't patch itself up so she was dripping spinal fluid and that somehow caused the right side of her brain to bleed. That blood is causing her to have horrific headaches and has had her on her back for the past 4 days. The headaches are to just go away on their own, there isn't much they can do for them. The pain management people are looking for medicine that will help her be able to sit up. This dura hematoma is usually caused by a blunt hit to the head....but leave it to Christy to get it while having a c-section. She's a trooper but prayers need to continue. As of yesterday she had only spent a total of 3 hours with the babies in 4 days. She was hoping to get more time with them yesterday.

Please pray that Christy's headaches get better. Pray for both the babies that miss their mommy and the mommy that is missing her babies! Pray for Billy as he steps up to be the care giver to everyone. Thank you for praying for my people.

As for my doctors visit yesterday. It went well. I wasn't jumping up for joy or anything. I was looking for a miracle cure and Chip was relieved that I got a good report. Hill is big (he gets it honestly I guess?) He is weighing in at 3 lbs 6 oz at 29 weeks - - he's registering as a 30 week 2 day old kiddo. Dr. North just thinks that maybe my body is trying to adjust and therefore my back, lungs, breathing is messed up. (he probably didn't say messed up, but whatever - this is my rendition.) I told him that my few days resting were fabulous. I could totally tell a difference if I was resting vs. up doing things (even if it was walking to the other side of the house.) He asked if I was up for doing my normal routine and I let him know that I pretty much don't have a choice. So, since the Darvocet was a joke he gave me muscle relaxers. He said that I could go to physical therapy to help my body adjust, but for some reason I don't want to do that.

Yesterday at 5:01 (when I got off of work) I took a muscle relaxer and was in bed by 8 something. Slept like a dream and woke up feeling refreshed. My lungs are still hurting a little, but my back is slightly better. Breathing is about the same. I can't complain (well I could).....only worry that my baby doesn't come out addicted to muscle relaxers. Surely Dr. North wouldn't have given them to me if he thought they were bad for Hill.

Cracks me up that Dr. North keeps track of me on my Facebook. He said he was proud that I was listening to him when he read my status on Thursday night that I was "getting situated for the long haul. I have the remote, computer, house phone, cell phone, drugs, heating pad, pjs on and clean sheets. And nurse Katie Lou to cuddle with. I'm good to go!" He said he just pictured Chip feeding me grapes.....Chip commented that was about par for the course. These guys - they were ganging up on me! But I wouldn't trade either one of them. You gotta respect the guy that takes care of me and my baby (medically) who isn't my husband. Love you Dr. North! I may name my next child after him - - North Hawkins. No, I didn't say my next child.....Geez, let's get this kiddo here first and hope I survive the next 11 weeks.

We are still on track for January 14th. Chip said, surely this baby won't triple his weight in 11 weeks. I sure as hell hope not! That would be a 10 lb 8 oz baby. I'd need to be winning awards and world records or something. I think I'd deserve the Nobel Peace Prize of 2010, why not? Obama got it. I digress - - I don't get political on my blog.

So in other news, my previa has corrected itself which means I now can birth this baby hippo like God designed us women for. So that's good, I guess. Just add reconstructive surgery to the to do list. If he's a c-section baby I was gonna ask for a tummy tuck.

Even though I had 3 days of resting I didn't catch up on ANYTHING. Which I guess is the point. Yet, not even my thank you notes. I'm awful. So, the plan for tonight after my JA meeting is to sit in bed and write thank you notes and mark things off my to do list.

Oh yeah, and I will probably sit there for hours and watch the Roomba clean my house. We haven't named him yet - I think it's a him. He reminds me of the drunk uncle I never had who runs into everything repeatedly while entertaining everyone for hours. I have to figure out how to post a video because I have a hilarious video I caught of Katie vs. Roomba. This thing is fantastic!

7 Month Pregnant Hot Mess *Updated*

You may have never seen anything of the sorts......I know I haven't. Yet I found out I could go my whole life without ever seeing a 7 month pregnant hooker again. Too bad my pimp took off his purple velvet hat and mink! I took off my hot pink boa and spiked heels......but you get the idea.

This could go under Wikipedia as the definition of a 'Hot Mess'

Don't you love the turquoise bra with brown leggings?

(the zebra form fitting top is really a skirt pulled up as a tube top)

And what about my pimps gold necklace and hairy chest?

**UPDATE**

Both my mom and my step mom called me las night to say that they had no idea who that was with Chip. Then Chip reiterated what an awful picture that is of me. Glad it's a Halloween photo. Now you know why I don't wear lots of makeup and tight clothes. :)

Good info if I ever need to be a part of the witness protection program.

Not even my mother could recognize me!

Life Keeps Happening

Sorry I haven't updated my blog in a couple of days, it's not like I haven't had the time or anything.

I have been in bed since Thursday evening just hanging out. My medicine isn't really doing anything for me. I'm not trying to complain, but it hasn't done anything. Before last night I would have paid phat cash to get some sleep, then I found Benadryl...it's a miniature pink and white pill that makes my life and everyone in my life happy. I know it's hard to believe, but I don't think I've ever taken benadryl...like in the history of ever. I love it.

Thursday night I slept ok, I was up early Friday morning even though I couldn't go to work. I watched the Today show and then laid around and took a nap from like 2-4. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore - I had to sweep my bedroom. Staring at the dog hair tumbleweeds was driving me crazy. They seemed as though they could be fire hazards by the electrical outlet strip...not to mention if anyone came to visit me they would deem my house unfit for even an unborn child.

I then decided to make a lucrative business out of my problem. You know that build a bear workshop in the mall? I decided that we could open up a build a dog workshop here in Kosciusko. My dogs could be the sole contributor to the dog hair supply. We could get Lindsey and Cindy to make cute little outfits for the build a dogs. What do ya'll think? Then I decided that if that was a flop there is always the possibility of selling Chiengora sweaters, scarves, mittens and blankets. Susan could teach me how to knit.

Then Chip and I decided we needed a Roomba - Since I didn't have anything to do I researched and called every place in Jackson just to find where I could get one. You see Chip and I come from the 'Instant Gratification Generation' and he was fully prepared to drive to get one as soon as I located it. There was not any store in a 100 mile radius that has the 532 Pet Series. Needless to say, we didn't get one....this weekend.

Around 11:00 that night I went to sleep and then was up 3 hours later (Saturday 2:00 am) and didn't go back to sleep until 22 hours later (Saturday at midnight). I wanted to sleep so bad but couldn't. Chip said I was not fit for society unless I took a nap. I was probably the grouchiest human on earth and my poor dogs who just want to be right next to me and make me feel better did nothing but drive me nuts, and they don't even talk.

You see, I had committed to be the designated driver to the Halloween parties we were to attend Saturday night long before I was told to rest. No harm in sitting in a lawn chair instead of my bed...right? One problem, the original costume I had planned wasn't fully constructed and being that I wasn't able to complete it, I had to come up with another plan. Family Dollar had the answer - A purple velvet pimp hat with cheetah print trim. As soon as I saw it I knew it would go perfect with the feux mink jacket Chip has. He could be my pimp and I could be his 7 month pregnant hooker. So we went with it. I will post a picture as soon as I get it. I will leave the description of my costume to a minimum because I don't know that there are words except for tight form fitting zebra print, turquoise bra, and makeup....lots and lots of makeup.

We hit up three parties and had a good time. Being the old Mo Mo's we are were home by 11:00. I took a benadryl and went to bed. It was nice to get 7 hours of sleep...after not having slept for 22. I love you benadryl. You make me both tolerable and tolerant.

This morning, Sunday. I finished decorating a cake I made for my friend Marsha's baby shower.

Pearce is going to be Hill's BFF. He is due November 24th.

Marsha's shower was nice, she has many many loved ones and good friends. Baby Pearce got lots of goodies and has a great big sister! What a lucky little guy Pearce is! Can't wait until you get here!

In other news, my Chippy made homemade pizza for dinner and it was fabulous! He's pretty much the best husband ever.

Tomorrow at 9:00 am I have my follow up doctors appointment. Please pray that all goes well. I will keep you all posted as soon as I know what the doctor says. Hopefully no more laying low or chilling out because I am not meant to be on bed rest, that's for the birds. I'm not open to accepting that life keeps happening with or without me.